Have I ever mentioned here how much I hate plumbing?

I do. I really do.

Last night, I was working late (more challenging stuff nobody - except maybe Joe - will appreciate. The Japanese TTS engine will parse Unicode text, but not ASCII) and I heard a strange rattling sound. And I put my ear to the wall and determined it was the heater. We recently put away the Christmas stuff under the house, and I figured something must be rattling, and I would deal with it in the morning.

Then, a little later, I heard water running. And I assumed that Jake had got up and gone to the bathroom. And the water kept flowing and flowing. So I went upstairs to jiggle the handle on his toilet. But it wasn't running. So Rachel and I checked the rest of the toilets.

And then we found a flashlight and went under the house, fearing the worst.

And it was pretty bad. The hot water heater was spraying hot water all over the place. It shares a platform with part of our HVAC system.

So I ran as fast as I could in the dark around the house to first shut off the water, and then to the breaker box to shut off the power to the hot water heater.

And then I called our Home Warranty Company.

And the weird thing is that there is a part of me that feels glad when something like this happens. Glad, and a small sense of relief. Like maybe we'll get our money's worth. Every year, we pay to renew our home warranty, and when something goes wrong, I know it's only going to cost me a $55 deductible and that's it. The first year, we came out a little ahead. The second year, we lost a little - that is, our major appliance failures were slightly less costly than the cost of the warranty.

This year, well, an 82 gallon water heater retails for around 6 or 7 bills. And plumbers ain't cheap. So we are well on our way to break even.

Now, the home warranty company agreed with me that this was an emergency. Despite shutting off the water, water was still leaking. And the nice lady assured me a plumber would call me soon. And she also said, if the plumber didn't call soon, I should call the plumber. So, you know, my confidence in a quick call back was small. So I waited an hour. And then I called the plumber. And I got an answering machine. And I left a message and believed their announcement that it can take up to two hours to process a work order. By this time, the water had stopped flowing - I'm guessing it was some sort of back pressure working it's way back through the system or something. So I was a little less worried, but also pretty angry and frustrated.

I called the warranty company back and explained what I had been through. And I was put on hold. And then I was told that, "Sir, they won't be able to replace a water heater in the middle of the night anyway, so they will call you tomorrow."

I politely explained that it was now 1:30 in the morning, and if they had told me that four hours ago, I would be in bed. And I asked to speak to a supervisor. And I got the $55 deductible waived. Which is like lawyer money - That's about $330 an hour, just for being a jerk. And it was easy work because I was really ticked off.

And I called the plumber in the morning and was told they would be here between 1 and 5. And at 4:00 I called and asked for a status update. And at 4:45 they called me back and said that the plumber was working on an emergency gas leak and wouldn't make it today. Tomorrow morning between 6:00 and 8:00.

I repeat - tomorrow MORNING!!!

So I need to go to bed now. I am currently not very happy with First American Home Buyer's Warranty Co. If everything works out in the next day or two, I'll be happy again. But I feel a bit jerked around. We live in the sticks, and when we need something done, the First American never seems to have someone in the area. And I'm a little ticked with Boyle Plumbing.

Come on - an emergency gas leak?