Why I hate Starbucks (And you should too)

There are dozens of websites dedicated to this very topic (Click Text). Chief among them is probably www.ihatestarbucks.com.

Here are just a few reasons why I hate Starbucks.

First, it is bad coffee. I'm something of a coffee expert having consumed more in college and in the early days of my career than anyone I know personally. In college, it wasn't how many cups I'd had that day, it was how many POTS!

In my home town, where we had two cafes back when good coffee was just catching on, Starbucks bought the Pizza Hut building and converted it. Why? Well, for one thing, it was located right between the two cafes downtown. It was a small town back then, and I am confident that both cafes were getting by, but not thriving. Starbucks, giant that they are could open their doors and run at a loss until either or both local cafes went under.

Fine, if you believe in free markets, this is just peachy with you, I guess. But shouldn't there be regulation of monopolistic practices? No, OK. Then you might as well hop on over to The Cato Institute.

In Petaluma, they did the same thing - opening up right across the street from Deaf Dog. Deaf Dog printed up these great bumper stickers that read, 'Friends don't let friends go to Starbucks.' Deaf Dog is fighting the good fight and winning, or at least battling to a draw. I think the location is key to their ongoing success - there are a lot of coffee drinkers in Petaluma and both businesses are busy. There are also a lot of socially conscious younger people in Petaluma. And also plenty of ignorant yuppies picking up their coffee on their way to shopping the overpriced 'antique' and boutique stores.

In that scandalous photo of me that's making the rounds on the internet (I read that yesterday, for a brief period, it was downloaded more than Paris Hilton and Harry Potter combined!) you can clearly see me holding a McDonald's fries and a Super Gigantic Windy Caramel Machiatti (or whatever the heck they call it- it's just some syrup added to crappy coffe and milk).

But you can't see what is written on the cup.



That cup had layers, man. Layers, I'm telling you. As does my hatred of Starbucks.

I removed the "Java Jacket" meant to prevent an accidental burning form their molten cup of crap. This revealed a cup with a message. And underneath that cup? Another cup - with the same message. Inside that cup, of course, was the afforementioned molten cup of crap they pass off as coffee.

The message itself is just another large cup of molten crap when read in the context of the medium of the cup itself.



It reads:

The Way I See It #60

Republican President Teddy Roosevelt said in 1907: 'The conservation of our natural resources and their proper use constitute the fundamental problem which underlies almost every other problem of our national life.' He placed only morality higher as a guiding principle. A United States President who adopts these as guiding principles globally will lead our nation to further prosperity and peace.

--Mike Fay
Wildlife Conservation Society Conservationist and National Geographic Conservation Fellow.

Take a moment to read that again, if you need to. It's a message about the conservation of our natural resources, you know, things like trees, water, and energy. The message is delivered not once but twice - on two cups for one cup of coffee. The message itself was then obscured by a Java Jacket.

And it was bad coffee!!!!! This one cup of coffee (and I use the term loosely here and throughout) wasted trees (two cups and a java jacket), water (I assume they used fresh water, but they may have use reclaimed water from the bathrooms next to the kiosk), labor (some poor kid had to make and serve this thing and I had to earn the money to buy it), and energy (electricity, I assume, but it was so hot, they may have used nuclear fission). Add to that the garbage produced topped off with a plastic lid.

I like this post and the fun I had with the picture. But I feel guilty that even one nickel of my hard earned money went to supporting Starbucks. Please, help me. If even one of you who reads this post now hates Starbucks, do me a favor and get your coffee somewhere else. Preferably Peet's (Try the Garuda Blend).

Then post a comment telling me about it so I can feel a little better.