New Cell Phones...

One for each of us. And mine has WiFi. Which lets me blog from just about anywhere. Like right now I'm watching TV with Rachel. And Jake can now text his Dad. And his has this "Chaperone" feature that lets us keep track of where he is. And Rachel has a phone that works. Hers died about a month ago.

It's weird how important these things have become. And how dependent on them we've become.

We had one phone growing up, and my parents have had the same number for over 30 years. I remember when we got our first answering machine. And when we first got call waiting.

Now we have three phone lines into our house (we used to have four, plus an eFax number), a toll free number for CommTech, and three cell phones.

How did we ever talk to anyone back in the day?

Merry Christmas...

It was tough getting out of bed this morning, but the combined efforts of my son and wife got the job done with some help from Peet's Coffee and The Captain.

Captain Crunch, not Captain Morgan.

And we're rushed- gotta get down to the Bainter household for brunch with our family before we all head over to the McNaught's for dinner. Jake will spend some time with his Dad and his Grandparents on that bracnh of the family tree. I believe he will be opening presents four times today. Hope the poor kid doesn't get a paper cut.

We spoiled our good puppies...


And each other...



And I'm in my Christmas sweater...

And off to pack the car and hit the road.

Merry Christmas!

The stockings were hung...

...well, not so much hung as set gently on the hearth. Weird crown molding on our mantle and all. But we're pretty much done and for bed now. There's a few more to wrap for tomorrow, but we need to recycle a few gift bags.

Told you about the gift bags, didn't I.

And I did a little cooking. Rachel pulled out some fairly challenging recipes for the two hors d' oeuvres we are responsible for bringing tomorrow.

I'm beat, so I'm giving the links rather than the recipes.

First, there's this Winter Crudites With Walnut-Garlic Dip. First, it's not pronounced "crud-ites." Its "Crew-de-tay." I've never made anything like this before. It's basically a vegetable dip that gets its consistency from one russet potato. It was OK tonight, and I think it will be better tomorrow, like any dip. Also, I screwed up and chopped basil instead of oregano. So I just threw in some oregano along with the basil.

Then there's this. Sun Dried Tomato And Pesto Torta. And I want to make this again. I mean, it will be good, but I made a few mistakes. First, I didn't have enough fresh basil for the pesto part because I used some in the other dish. So I added flakes. Second, rather than flip it out of the bowl so it's a "torta," Rachel wanted to serve it in this pretty bowl on a pedestal thing she got. Unfortunately, it was too wide for me to get a nice thick even spread on each layer. It's supposed to be distinctive layers- bottom up, white, red, white, green, white, red, white, green, white. Mine just looks sort of smeared because I couldn't make each layer thick enough. On top, I sprinkled a few red pepper flakes, some sweet paprika, some toasted pine nuts, and some chopped parsley. So it will look Christmassy from above to make up for looking like smears on the side. And this one is going to be delicious.

Incidentally, I've found Epicurious.com to be the best website out there for really amazing food when you have lots of time to prepare it. My friend Riley turned me on to it with this Butternut Squash recipe I made for Rachel and Lauren back when Lauren was a vegetarian too. It's fairly challenging stuff, but the directions are usually dead on, and provided you aren't really tired and make mistakes like I did tonight, everything comes out good on the first try and superb on the second.

Oh, and we took an abbreviated drive around Hidden Valley in the cart. And it was everything I'd hoped it would be. Although I did forget the Christmas music. But we had a blanket over our legs and the heater going and we were nice and warm and shmoopie for about 45 minutes.

Maybe it's the economy, but the houses were not as impressive as last year. Last year's contest winner scaled WAY back. We didn't venture over to the other sections due to time constraints, but we might take another drive before New Year's. Last year, a family in the Southern Gates had so many lights and such that they had to power it with a generator because their main panel couldn't handle it.

I've got to go now. It's coming up on midnight and I don't want Santa to catch me out of bed.

The New and Improved Hotel Yorba Courtesy Car...

I still have a few more holes to drill, a little JB weld to apply, and I need to wire up the 12 volt accessory jack. But that can wait. For now, it's solid. Here she is in all her glory...

Notice the "HOTEL YORBA" mock license plate, fuzzy dice, and tinted windshield.

Above, you can see the rain enclosure and the 5-way rear view mirror. And I'm really glad we decided to paint the roof black. I think it looks slick.

And below, that's the carbon fiber locking dash and the catalytic heater.


I took it out for a test drive last night and I was toasty warm with that heater running. Now if we can just get all of our wrapping done, and stuff for tomorrow cooked and all, we'll take our bundled up drive with hot cocoa.

Also, Rachel let me take a picture of her finger...

It's a good one. But it hurts less today and she is getting her wrapping done. I think there may be a few more gift bags than she had originally planned, though.

And her injury did not prevent her from cutting all of the See's in half so that "we could all share." Of course, she's really just doing it to see which ones she likes. Fortunately, by now Santa has already left and as of departure, she was on the nice list.

Fantasy Football and Pick 'Em...

This is meaningless stuff, for the most part. But I play Fantasy Football in Cuz's league, and Pick 'Em in Brad's. And I have stunk up both leagues all season this year. I squeaked in to the playoffs in the Fantasy Legaue, and somehow my TikiGods got lucky and knocked off Uncle Dave's Plaid Zebras. I lost in the second round, but had a monster week this week and took 3rd place - that's $50, which is break even.

In the Pick 'Em league, it wasn't much fun. Brad changed the rules this year so we used confidence points instead of point spread. And people did nothing but complain all season long. And I am not very good at this new format. I am on the bubble for the playoffs. But, miraculously, there is my team, "OneEyedMonkey" at the top of the heap going in to Monday night's game. I have a 1 point lead over 1 guy and a 2 point lead over two others. Now, on paper, if we all pick the favorites, I lose because I've only got confidence nine and the other guys have 12. So I think I have to pick the underdog and Denver has to win for me to have a shot. Unless of course they are thinking the same way. In which case, I need to stay with the favorite. But then, Denver has nothing to lose. And statistically, Denver is due. But they are on the road. And LT has a shot at the rushing title. But then, Denver can be good against the run.

Ugh - I need to be wrapping presents.

I just hit up Uncle Dave for some advice. I'm sticking with San Diego and letting the chips fall where they may. Could be a 3 way tie for first.

And I think my cell phone died today. Just flat out died. No drops, no bangs, no water or rain, it is just dead. Coincidentally, my to year contract is up. So I'm wondering if they have some sort of built in self destruct mechanism or something. Maybe Chris, being an industry insider, has some insight there.

Jake's Christmas Party...

Jake had his second annual Christmas Party today. It went from two until six. And the last two kids left at around 10:30. It sounded like they had a blast. They took over the downstairs. And they were loud. And every once in a while, I'd hear something I didn't like hearing - pool balls hitting the floor, a dart hitting the wall, and the occasional s-word.

This bothered me a little. I decided to get outside for a while, and I was working on the golf cart upgrades (pictures in a post to follow - it looks flippin' sweet!). Two teenage boys came to my neighbor's house to pick up our neighbor's daughter. The girl is either in Jake's grade, or maybe a year older. And these kids were all such jerks. Calling each other "bitch" and throwing rocks and they were just all around dirty little punks. And I can't believe my neighbor would let her daughter get in a car with these kids.

And it made me realize that Rachel and I, and the parents of all of the kids who were here are either very lucky or doing something right. It's probably a little of both.

Anyway, we gave the kids the run of the downstairs, a cooler full of sodas and bottled water, some chips and dip, 5 large pizzas, a big bowl of carrots, 3 televisions, a PS2, and 2 X Boxes that Jake's friends brought. I handed them the cheap camera and asked them to take lots of pictures and this is some of what went on...

















That kid in the cast is Blaine. You might remember him from an earlier post where I played golf with him, Jake, and Eric. Poor kid is a few days in to five weeks in a cast. And golf season is just around the corner. He was the monster golfer. Blaine's Mom told us a cool thing that Jake did. She said that if her kid did something like this, she'd want to know about it, so she wanted to tell us. Blaine broke his arm in P.E. playing basketball. He fell on it wrong and was down and in a lot of pain. And some boys were teasing him, "Why don't you go ahead and cry little girl." And stuff like that. And Jake stood up to them, told them to shut up because Blaine was really hurt. And, as it turned out, it was broken. I am proud of Jake for doing that, and really glad that a.) Blaine told his Mom about it, and b.) She told us about it.

I am also glad that Jake is wrestling because I think it is helping him learn courage and building his confidence.

And one girl came, Cheyenne. I thought that was pretty cool. A couple of others were supposed to come but had to cancel. She was one of the guys. I Also, I see Mario with the service access panel removed from the pool table. Which means somebody was screwing around and got a ball to jump the return track.

Also, and this was my tough parenting moment of the day - I came downstairs to find they were watching Superbad. Now, I remember seeing Animal House at that age. But this was too much. We wouldn't let Jake see it. But Pete did. So whatever, Jake's seen it. And most of the other kids had seen it and all. But it just sat wrong with us. And Rachel delegated the task of shutting it off to me. And it sucked.

But I went down there with a phone and politely asked Jake to pause the movie. I then said, "OK, you have two choices. You can put in Hot Rod instead, or you can each call your parents for me so I can ask them if it is OK for you to watch this movie." And they all leapt for the phone, again, most had seen it. And one said he watched it with his parents. And I wussed out and et it ride. And I went back upstairs. And I got the look from Rachel. She saves that look for the rare time when it really matters. And today it did.

And I went outside again to clear my head and think about it. On the one hand, I really like that Jake's friends want to come here. We've invested a lot in making our place the place kids want to hang out. That way we know where he is, who he's hanging out with, and what he's up to. So I was worried that not allowing them to see something they've already seen would make them less inclined to come here. And I was worried about embarrassing Jake. And I didn't want to be a flip-flop-flipper.

And then I thought a little more about our neighbor's kid. She was caught stealing alcohol from Hardester's and passed out in a creek last year - transported to the hospital everything. And the whole premise of the movie is that these dorky kids go on a mission to acquire alcohol so that they can get girls drunk and have sex. And I did the right thing. I went back downstairs and made them turn it off. I said, "I'm sorry, I love you kids, and this whole movie is about things I hope you don't ever do. It's not that it's 'R' rated, it's the subject matter I don't agree with. We have 200 other movies, so please pick something else."

The next time Rachel checked on them, they had put in the Simpson's Movie and were all singing "Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a Spiderpig does..."

Kids need boundaries.

And as far as we can tell, everyone had fun, nobody got hurt, nothing got broken, there was no drama, and 10 out of 11 kids said thank you. And the one that didn't say thank you didn't say anything at all, really. Nice boy, quiet type.

So that was our day. Rachel wrapped a lot of presents, but I don't think she's anywhere near halfway done. And she had a little accident with the hot glue gun while wrapping. Second degree burn on her finger.

I know, right? Glue gun? To wrap presents? Yes, I married a woman with a big Martha Stewart streak. Only kinder and without the felony insider trading.

If she let's me take a picture, I'll post it tomorrow. So now she is wrapping handicapped. Which means I'm going to have to wrap all of her presents and then some tomorrow. Good thing work gave me a half day.

Did I say Merry Christmas yet this year? I'll say it Christmas Day. Until then, tidings of comfort and joy, and safe travel to you and your families.

Feast at the Elliots'

Two years in a row makes it a tradition, right?


We went down to Lauren and Paul's tonight for a visit and Holiday dinner. Paul and Lauren wouldn't let us do anything but eat. It was a lot of fun, and we had some great food.

Paul made these great potatoes, that try as I might, I can't replicate. He boils them, then shakes them around in the pot, then bakes them. So they come out crispy but soft on the inside. And parsnips. I would never think to cook parsnips. And they were delicious. For dessert, we had vanilla ice cream with a little Bailey's and ginger snaps that Lauren made.


And we got home safely.

We added a few things to the Hotel Yorba Courtesy Car. And I learned how to use a pop rivet gun. Nifty tool, that! So we now have a rain (and to some extent cold) enclosure and a new tinted windshield. We also got a dash cover which allows the dash cubbies to be locked to secure valuables. But I couldn't get the darned steering wheel off, and I am considering using a Sawzall to cut a slit and slide it over the shaft. Oh, and then there's step 4 in the directions that says, "The ignition and light switches will need to be relocated."

I see. Where and how? They don't say. So I am seriously considering leaving them where they are - you'd just need to remove a cup holder to access them. And it would be something of a moron anti-theft device as well.

Anyway, it looks pretty cool, and it will be nice to drive around on Christmas Eve and not freeze like we did last year.

I'm for bed. Jake's having a Christmas party here tomorrow for some friends and there's a lot still to be done in the morning.

Just When I Thought We Had Something To Cheer About...

I was very happy to hear President Bush signed the 2007 Energy Bill in to law.

Congress OKs energy bill

Fuel economy rules for vehicles raised for first time in 32 years

By Richard Simon

December 19, 2007

WASHINGTON - Soon, you won't find those old-fashioned 100-watt incandescent light bulbs in stores. You will be able to buy more energy-efficient appliances. And you will see labels on TVs and computers that tell you how much energy they consume.

You will see stickers on new cars that specify not only how many miles they get per gallon but how many greenhouse gases they emit. And when you pull up to the pump, you will fill your car with a mixture of gasoline and made-in-the-USA biofuel...

..."In this bill, we ban by 2012 the famously inefficient 100-watt incandescent bulb," said Rep. Jane Harman, a California Democrat who co-sponsored that provision.

I was a little disappointed by how long it would take to have an impact - 2012 is a long way off. But then Wal-Mart has been pushing the newer more efficient bulbs for over a year. So I figure consumer demand might kick in before long anyway.

I was also a little disappointed by the push for bio-fuels, which do nothing to reduce emissions, little (if anything) to reduce our dependence on foreign oil, and from what I've read, it takes nearly as much oil in the form of fertilizers and the energy consumption of farm equipment as we get from the corn used to make the bio fuel. And then there's Monsanto and their Terminator Seeds, and pesticides, and Round Up Ready corn and such. All bad. But I was still happy with it - it seemed like a net win.

Well, today the other shoe dropped. And it must have been on its way down before the ink was dry. Bush signed the bill yesterday. And today...

E.P.A. Says 17 States Can’t Set Emission Rules

By JOHN M. BRODER and FELICITY BARRINGER

Published: December 20, 2007

WASHINGTON — The Environmental Protection Agency on Wednesday denied California and 16 other states the right to set their own standards for carbon dioxide emissions from automobiles.

The E.P.A. administrator, Stephen L. Johnson, said the proposed California rules were pre-empted by federal authority and made moot by the energy bill signed into law by President Bush on Wednesday. Mr. Johnson said California had failed to make a compelling case that it needed authority to write its own standards for greenhouse gas emissions from cars and trucks to help curb global warming...

...The 17 states — including New York, New Jersey and Connecticut — had waited two years for the Bush administration to issue a ruling on an application to set stricter air quality standards than those adopted by the federal government. The decision, technically known as a Clean Air Act waiver, was the first time California was refused permission to impose its own pollution rules; the federal government had previously granted the state more than 50 waivers...

The emissions standards California proposed in 2004 — but never approved by the federal government — would have forced automakers to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 30 percent in new cars and light trucks by 2016, with the cutbacks to begin in 2009 models...

...The new federal law will require automakers to meet a 35-mile-per-gallon fleetwide standard for cars and trucks sold in the United States by 2020. It does not address carbon dioxide emissions, but such emissions would be reduced as cars were forced to become more fuel efficient.

I am at a loss here. Blind-sided! Delay, then deny. They've pushed 2009 cutbacks out to 2020. And fleetwide means, I think, that Ford, for example, can sell a monster truck that gets 8 mpg and their little mini hybrid escape that gets 60 mpg for an average of 34, and then throw in a 38 mpg car to meet the standard.

I don't think this new law can roll back any of the emissions standards that we already have, but until we get representation that serves the people instead of corporations, we can only expect more of the same. I wish we could force Stephen L. Johnson to make all of his press appearances outdoors in Los Angeles on a shallow breathing day.

I think we will win our lawsuit, but it will take years to play out. It feels like the M-O-N-E-Y people (to quote my 8th grade Geography teacher) know the party's gonna be over soon and they are crowding everyone else out and drinking up every last drop at the bar before last call.

We don't need a Democrat - we need someone who will tilt the balance of power back to the people. So we need the right Democrat. Make that the right Democrats. The ones we elected aren't doing much for me.

The lesser of two evils is still evil, just not as competent.

If you came here for Christmas...

...It would look something like this...




And then you'd find your present under the tree...




And we'd make you a Snuggler or some hot cocoa, with marshmallows, of course...


And then you could sit by the fire and take the chill off...




And we'd while away the evening reminiscing about the past year and looking forward to the next.

Tidings of comfort and joy!

Sadly, it's been stormy, and the wind keeps blowing over my poor reindeer. This morning, I went outside and found them blown over. The big one was just twitching like it had been hit by a car. And the little one had fallen backwards, and it's head kept moving up and down as if it were leaving a big pile of reindeer poop in the lavender bush. I'm going to have to MacGyver something to keep them upright and not scare the neighborhood children.

Progress, not perfection, lemme get some action from the back section...

We had ourselves a great family weekend. Jake had a wrestling tournament in Fort Bragg. And since Ted lives in Cleone...


...which is a little town on Fort Bragg's Northside, we boarded the dogs, hung a "NO VACANCY" sign on The Hotel Yorba, and made a weekend out of it.

Jake left Friday after school with the team. They spent the night in the gym at Fort Bragg High School in sleeping bags on some mats. We spent the night sleeping in Ted's nice warm beautiful house.

But first we had a cocktail, went out for Mexican Food, and went to the Tip Top. It was slow getting going, but I put my wing man skills to use and before long we were hanging out with the regulars. That's Nathan. He bought me a shot of Jack after I bought him a Bud Light.

This is Rachel's new boyfriend, Joey.


...and a girl named Lisa...

We had a really good time. And I was reminded of what my cousin once told me at 2 in the morning. He said, "Cuz, I love you. But for someone who owns his own pool table, you should be WAY better at pool."

I had a run of three brilliant shots that would have made Paul proud, then a run of rubbish. But it was fun. I think Ted finally knocked Big Nate off the table.

Rachel drove us home.

It was weird being a couple of hundred miles from home and knowing our son was sleeping five miles from us, but not knowing where he was, exactly, or what he was doing.

The next morning, I helped Ted with a little project...


I pretty much handed him things and made tired jokes about his caulk.

Rachel chilled out in the window seat...

Now, I titled this post "Progress not perfection." And that was the theme that jumped to mind. Starting with Ted's house. He still has lots of little things to do, but they all seem so minor now. It's like the house is essentially finished, and now he's doing home improvement projects.

This carried over to Jake's wrestling. He lost both of his matches, but he has made a lot of progress. He came out aggressive, and he scored points. Check this out...

Jake shot first, the guy countered, and Jake took him down. And then he didn't quite know what to do next. If he had just slipped in the half with his left arm, he probably would have pinned the guy right there. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. But it's progress. And Middletown took 2nd place in the tournament.

After wrestling, we went home and made some dinner. Ted is great at whipping something up. I look in the pantry and think of all of the things I could make if only I had [fill in the missing key ingredient]. Ted just pulls this and that from here and there and before you know it you are sitting down to rice, sausage, and vegetables.

Then we went to see I Am Legend. I'm still processing some of it, but it was pretty good. A lot of startle scares. And, you know, there's a dog. And I love dogs. And you just know something's gonna happen to the dog. And it's never good. And that sort of thing makes me tense.

On Sunday, we had "Eat Your Oatmeal" muffins for breakfast. And we made some music. It was tough finding something that would bridge the generation gap, but we did OK and even did a little Blues jam...


Again, progress, not perfection.

And I took a little snooze, though, and that was perfect.

Oh, and I noticed where Ted hung our housewarming gift we brought him last time.


It may not stay there, but it is pretty cool.

Then we went to the beach and checked out the tide pools and goofed around.


Ted's law of the ocean: "It's generally better to have wet feet than a head injury." Here he is not taking his own advice, but pulling it off in style...

This could be the cover shot for Jake's first solo album...

And, you know, this is a picture of me and Ted.

And if you just said, "Don't you mean 'Ted and I?'" you would be wrong.

It was a wet, wild, white knuckled drive home, including some bad craziness in Willitts involving a malfunctioning railroad crossing gate, but we made it by late afternoon.

Then we went to Rachel's office Christmas party. Which was weird, you know, because she probably doesn't work there any more. Although she hasn't really been fired, either. At least not yet that night. And, in fact, as of Midnight that night, there were no more Bottle Rock employees at all. Some weird tax thing to make the company more attractive to purchase or something. So we don't know what her status is, really.

But you know, what, that's bummer stuff. So I'm leaving it off there.

And I'll wrap up with Rachel's progress - she has met all of her initial goals in physical therapy - and now she has some new ones to make her stronger. So far, they just seem to make her hurt. But it's progress.