Cooking Or Just Heating Things Up (continued)...

Last month, I wrote about the difference between cooking and heating things up. This weekend, we had Second Christmas and I made Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread for Jeff. The recipe calls for 15 ounces of punpkin filling. I had a 29 ounce can of filling. So when I was done with the bread, I had 14 ounces of pumpkin filling left over. I didn't want to throw it away. I remembered I had a graham cracker pie crust in the pantry and decided to try making pumpkin pie. I decided that that would be cooking bordering on heating things up. Actually, that would really be baking, wouldn't it? Anyway, everything was from scratch, except the crust, and if I had the time, I would have made that too. I even had graham crackers.

I got the ingredients together for the pie and found that the can of evaporated milk in my pantry was way past the expiration date. So I went to the store for a fresh can. Check it out the can I got...


It's hard to read in the picture. The little sticker says that evaporated milk is, "Your Secret Ingredient to Rich and Creamy Boxed Potatoes," and inside is a "recipe" to make these delicious boxed potatoes. I laughed out loud in the store.

Are there really people out there who like boxed potatoes but wish there was some way to make them even better?

Anyway - new rule - adding one package to another is NOT cooking.

Grimace Steaks Recipe...

Just tried a new recipe this weekend. It was delicious! Not many stores carry Grimace meat, but most can order it for you.It took the butcher down at Hardester's a week to get some, but it is worth the wait. You'll want to trim each steak making sure you leave about a quarter of an inch of fat on each steak for flavor. You can use the recipe below for guidelines and embellish a bit. I doubled it and rubbed each steak with garlic. Grimace meat tastes kind of like a cross between pork and beef, so you can season it with whatever you would use on either (but not both) of those meats. I can't wait for Summer when I start grilling again. I think a cajun rub will be awesome.



INGREDIENTS:
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon coarsely ground or cracked black pepper (Be sure to rub it in to the fat)
4 (6-8 ounce) grimace steaks (1 1/2 inches thick)
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1/3 cup minced shallots
1/2 cup cognac
1/2 cup grimace broth (substitute beef broth)
1/4 cup green peppercorn or Dijon mustard

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DIRECTIONS:
Trim fat to 1/4 inch. Sprinkle salt and pepper over steaks. Heat oil in a 9-inch cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Add steaks; cook 5 minutes on each side or until desired degree of doneness (I cooked them about 10 minutes per side - I like my meat well done, and it's difficult to tell when grimaces are done since the juices don't run clear like chicken and the meat stays purple). Remove steaks from skillet; keep warm. Add shallots to skillet; saute 30 seconds. Add cognac; cook 10 seconds. Add broth and mustard; stir well. Reduce heat; cook 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Serve steaks with sauce.

I served them over garlic mashed potatoes and a side of stir fried string beans. I opened a bottle of Copolla Diamond Series Pinot Noir for the wine. It was good, but that's one of my favorite wines, so it's always good. I know the general rule is white with fish or chicken, red with steak or Itallian. But what the heck are you supposed to serve with grimace? Maybe a blend?

An Exceptional Saturday

Rachel and I had a great weekend. For starters, my shoulder bothered me a lot less than it has lately. I'm glad it's getting better because Rachel said I was starting to sound like a mensch. I think the physical therapy session did some good. And they made me aware of my posture. I didn't realize how much I slouch until she told me to pinch my shoulder blades together and put my shoulders back. And I need to do something about my desk, because ergonomically it is not a very good set up.

Anyway, we got some chores done. Did a bunch of laundry, finished the pantry reorganization, cleaned house and such. Oh, and we put this memory foam mattress pad on our bed. And we had a really good afternoon of talking and hanging out. It felt more like a date than an old married couple hanging out. And since Jake was with Bio-Dad this weekend, we decided to get dressed up and go out to dinner.







We planned on going to the Boar's Breath because we've never been and then stop off for a cocktail at the Greenview on the way home. Then we realized it was already 7:45 and in this town, the sidewalks were long since rolled up for the night. It was like the first night we moved in and found out everything closes early, so we ended up having dinner at the Twin Pines Casino. It's an Indian Reservation Donation Station just down 29. And since we were there, we gambled a bit.

They have this great new Star Wars penny slot. The term "penny slot" is a little misleading since if you play the max lines and max bet per line, it's $3.00 a pop, just like the $1 Wheel Of Fortune slot. But it's a lot of fun. It has sounds and movies and such. And if you get three Death Stars in a row, you get a bonus Death Star spin. And if Darth Vader comes up on the first reel and Obi Wan comes up on the second, they get to have a light sabre fight. You get to pick who wins.

Rachel hit the light saber duel first and she picked Obi Wan. Darth Vader won and Obi Wan disappeared like a Jedi. I said, "Um, honey, you saw the movie, right?" Anyway, I got one and I picked Darth Vader, but Obi Wan won that one. Later, Rachel was down to $1.50 left on her machine (We each put in $40) and she got another light saber fight. And she picked Darth Vader. And he won. And she got a 15,000 penny bonus. That's $150. And then she used her Jedi skills to hit the cash out button.

Then I hit a Death Star spin. It landed on the laser which gives you a "next level" spin. And that spin landed on another "next level" spin. I picked the right port and I blew up the Death Star. It was awesome. Lots of lights and sounds and a great big explosion. And I was thinking, "Woo Hoo! If Rachel got $150 for a light sabre fight, I'm gonna make a bunch of money for blowing up the Death Star." But my "final" spin landed on low numbers and I got 6300 pennies. A measly 63 bucks for blowing up the Death Star. I can't even pay off Jabba the Hutt with that. So I kept playing a little longer, ran it up to $140 or so and cashed out. So we left up $200 if you count dinner.

Some jerk in a Lincoln Town Car tailgated us on the way home. There was slow traffic in front of me and he would not back off, even after I tapped my brake lights a few times and then slowed down. He ended passing us and the two slow cars ahead of us over a double yellow. And he went in to our complex as a guest. It would have been sweet justice if he had been held up at the security gate long enough for us to get in front of him. I would have been extra careful watching out for deer an peacocks.

Anway, we got home, made a couple of rum and Cokes (with the 10 Cane - it is sooooooo good, and I mean it, rum is the new tequila), and watched Saturday Night Live in bed. Death Cab For Cutie was on, and Rachel really digs them. Then she said she wanted snacks. And I found this box of See's candy our neighbors gave us for Christmas. So we ate See's candy in bed in front of the TV. And there was a beautiful moon out shining on the lake and the sky was a remarkable dark blue. But it was freezing out, so I couldn't enjoy it for very long.

This morning, I woke up at 11:30 or so. I slept through the night for the first time in like three weeks. And it was really nice to wake up normally instead of waking up in agony. It still hurt, but not nearly as bad as it has.

Today we did some more puttering around the house. Got the Christmas lights down and such. Cleaned out the fridge. How do we end up with so many bottles of salad dressing that nobody likes? And how do we end up with 3 bottles of Marie's Thousand Island that I do like? Those are some deep mysteries.

We picked up Jake in Calistoga and came home. Turkey sandwiches for dinner. Jake was coughing and went to bed early. And we watched the 2-hour first night of the two night season premiere of 24. Rachel gave up her Law and Order: Criminal Intent for the second hour. So I helped her fold laundry. Anyway - we will never make it through the full season. Maybe we'll make it to week five or so. Oh, and Ford must have pulled out because a.) the premiere was not shown without commercial interruption, and b.) Jack Bauer was driver a V-8 Nissan Titan. I remember when every car in the show was a Ford for a few seasons.

Orca the Killer Bunny and a Good-Looking Loaf

We have a pet bunny rabbit. When we lived in Petaluma, she lived in a dog run. She would run back and forth across the length of the dog run, hopping as she went and it reminded me of a killer whale, because she's got similar markings. So I named her Orca The Killer Bunny. But we generally call her Bun Bun or Funny Bunny. How do we know it's a she? Well, Rachel was in 4-H and learned how to sex rabbits. When we moved here, we put her hutch in the unfinished sunroom. This rabbit has spent its whole life living either in a cage or on cement. Last summer, we built her a bunny run in the backyard. Within five minutes of hitting dirt, she started digging a burrow.

Over time, the borough turned into a tunnel that led under the fence into our neighbor Diane's yard. We caught her a couple of times and plugged the hole, but she kept digging new holes. Apparently the grass is not only greener on the other side of the fence, but it tastes better to. I talked to Diane and she said she didn't mind if the bunny ran around her yard, so we decided to let her roam. She kept coming back to her run, because that's where the food and water is, and she seemed happy. But I didn't see her at all for a few days and started getting worried. A few nights ago I heard some scratchings and rustling sounds coming from the sunroom. I went to investigate, and there was Bun Bun hopping around. She dug another hole under the fence from the neighbors yard back into our yard and went right back to where her hutch used to be in the sunroom (we leave the door to the yard opened for the dogs). I guess she feels at home there, and it's a lot warmer than it is outside.

Also, I baked some bread last week. There was a pot luck at Rachel's work, and she said she would bring bread and salad, and she came home and asked me to make the bread. I've made banana bread, and pumpkin chocolate chip bread, but this was my first herb loaf. I had to roll the dough out into 30 inch ropes, braid them, tie a knot and make it look all pretty. It came out pretty good for a first try, and we quickly finished off the little bit she brought home.

By the way, before you report me to PETA or the SPCA, the bunny and the dogs get along fine. She runs right up to them and they play together nicely. Sometimes she teases the dogs to make them chase her for exercise. She always gets away and keeps coming back for more.

Got any bands a dream?

I first met Dean not long after my wife and I split up. I just got over a serious illness that I won't bother to talk about, except that it had something to do with the miserably weary split up in my feeling that everything was dead. But the coming of Dean Moriarty began the part of my life you could call my life on the road. Before that, and often dreamed of going west to see the country. Always vaguely planning and never taking off. Dean is a perfect act of the road because he actually was born on the road, when his parents were passing through Salt Lake City in 1926, in a July, other way Los Angeles. First reports of him came to me three Chad King, who'd shown me a few letters from him written in a New Mexico reform school poster menace interested in the letters because they so naïvely and sweetly asked Chad to teach him all about Nietzsche and all the wonderful intellectual things the Chad new. At one point Carlo and I talked about the letters and wondered if we would ever get to meet the strange Dean Moriarity. This is all far back when Dean was not the way he is today when he was a young jail kid shrouded in mystery and news came that Dean was not a reform school and was coming to New York for the first time; also, there was talk that you just married a girl called Mary Lou.

Tonight for some reason, I got to thinking about how Kerouac used to write. You may have seen the original scroll for On the Road was sold at auction and bought for $2.43 million by James Irsay, the owner of the Indianapolis Colts. To his credit, he sent the scroll on a museum tour were a lot of people were able to see it. Anyway I got to thinking, what if Kerouac had this headset Dragon speech rec technology at his disposal. So, I went ahead and read the first paragraph On The Road. The above is what came out. There's a few mistakes. Compare it to the original here:



I often say someday I'm going to write my novel. Maybe if I just dictate it, I'll finally get around to it.

Oh and by the way, the title of this post was supposed to be, "Got Any Benzedrine?" But it came out, "Got any bands a dream?" I think the recognizer would have a hard time understanding me if I was on Benzedrine.

I'm going to try reading the next paragraph while pretending I am on Benzedrine...

The one singer on the campus and Chad and Tim great only Dimas Dana Coldwater pad in East Harlem, the Spanish Harlem. Dean had read the net before the first time in New York with his beautiful sharp chick Mary Lou; they got the Greyhound bus at 50th St and cut around the corner looking for place the one right in actors, and since Hector's cafeterias always been a big symbol of New York for Dean. They spent money and give a big glaze cakes and cream puffs.

All this time Dimas Trilling, Mary Lou things like this. Now, darling, here we are in New York and although I haven't quite told you everything that I was thinking about one across Missouri, and especially at the point would pass the boom Dorff oratory, which by me in my jail problem it as absolutely necessary now to postpone all those leftover things concerning our personal love things and it was begin thinking of specific worklife plans... and so on in the way that he had in those early days.

That was supposed to read:

One day I was hanging around the campus and Chad and Tim Gray told me Dean was staying in a cold-water pad in East Harlem, the Spanish Harlem. Dean had arrived the night before, the first time in New York, with his beautiful little sharp chick Mary Lou; they got off the Greyhound bus at 50th St and cut around the corner looking for a place to eat and went right in Hector's, and since then Hector's cafeteria has always been a big symbol of New York for Dean. They spent money on beautiful big glaze cakes and cream puffs.

All this time, Dean was telling Mary Lou, things like this: "Now, darling, here we are in New York and although I haven't quite told you everything that I was thinking about when we crossed Missouri, and especially at the point when we passed the Boonville reformatory, which reminded me of my jail problem, it is absolutely necessary now to postpone all those leftover things concerning our personal love things and it once begin thinking of specific worklife plans..." and so on in the way that he had in those early days.

Maybe if I created a new user, took some benzedrine, and then trained the system while actually on benzedrine, it might take my dictation a little better. I'm curious to see how it will do some day when I have a few beers in me. Maybe it has built in slur detection. But I doubt it. It's going to be hard to write a novel in my own voice if I have to slow down and enunciate each word. If you know me, you know that I speak very quickly and mumble a bit, especially when I'm nervous or around pretty girls. It's a wonder Rachel understands me at all.

That last bit was for Ryan, because I haven't said anything nice about Rachel in a while.

Oh, by the way, I've been on these prescription medications since Tuesday, and in my opinion, a stiff rum drink and a few Advil's works better. I went to physical therapy today, and the woman who treated me turned out to be the same woman who worked the voter registration booth with me before the last election. Small world, isn't it? Oh, and she is also pretty sure that I don't have arthritis.

Hands-Free Blogging and Inappropriate Commercial Music

UPS delivered an Amazon order today. I ordered Dragon's NaturallySpeaking for two reasons. 1.) I'm hoping it will help my bursitis, if I can dictate instead of typing. And 2.) I'm a speech rec geek and I think it will be fun.

I am standing up and dictating this blog entry without using the keyboard. I'm still training the software, but so far. It makes less typos than I do.

Rachel just came in and said, "Honey, what the hell are you doing?" I told her that I am dictating a blog entry. She says, all I need now is to set up the elliptical machine in the office and then I can exercise while I work. She then added that I could pick my nose at the same time.

I promise not to pick my nose while blogging.

Anyway, we just finished watching My Name Is Earl. A commercial came on for Royal Caribbean Cruises. It was a very family oriented commercial with a husband and wife and kids doing all kinds of adventurous things on a cruise ship. The music in the background was Iggy Pop's Lust for Life. They were very selective about the lyrics they included. While they repeated the included the phrase, "lust for life," they conveniently omitted some of my favorite lines from the song like, "with the liquor and drugs," and, "I'm gonna get another striptease."

Things like this bug me. Like Nike using Revolution to sell shoes. Or The Who's Happy Jack selling Hummers. I don't mind, EMF's Unbelievable in a Kraft's Crumbles commercial ("You're Cumb-believable) because it is a crap song selling Kraft crap. I'm just glad we'll never hear Neil Young singing, "Keep on rocking at Marine World."

That's it for my first hands-free post.

On The Scanner Tonight...

We bought a scanner after we moved in here. We bought it because of the Geysers Fire. We could see it coming towarsd us but we couldn't tell how close it was and it was a little scary. So we bought it to monitor CDF traffic. Last Summer, we could hear the pilot of a CDF plane that was buzzing our house on approach to a fire nearby. That was weird.

Anyway - you can also pick up local Sheriff and Police traffic. Oh, and our own security staff. Tonight we saw fireworks up the block, so I turned on the scanner to hear them out trying to catch whoever lit them off. Nothing on that yet, but the Sheriifs and/or Clearlake PD are dealing with several gas leaks. First there were three in the same area, then a fourth a six or seven miles away. It's not near hear, but up in Clearlake.

Some jerk is going around puncturing holes in people's Gas tanks. First, I would be scared to death of something like that. I freak out lighting my gas grill sometimes, afraid it might blow up. But to purposely puncture one of those giant gas tanks is incomprehensible to me. Second - And to puncture several? Don't the odds favor a spark or something the more you do? Finally, it's Winter. How are people supposed to stay warm with a leaky gas tank? What a crappy thing to do.

While I can't say I hope the guy hits another one and it blows, I do hope he gets hurt somehow and then gets caught.

And that gets me to thinking about the "War on Terror." Terrorists could do a lot more damage pulling "Fight Club" type antics like this jerk. A lot of little things everywhere at once. Actually, who's to say they aren't? I wonder if there are any noticeable spikes in ridiculous vandalism like this all over the country but we just don't hear about it because it's local stuff. Maybe this guy is a terrorist.

And a lot of people here make fun of our security team, but we are glad for them. And things like this jerk puncturing tanks makes me appreciate them even more. We brought them cookies at Christmas and my neighbor shmoozes them to encourage them to patrol our street. There's a lot of speeders and our kids ride their bikes and play out front.

What's more depressing than the Clearlake Walmart?

How about the medical clinic. I woke up with excruciating pain in my shoulder and arm about three weeks ago, a little before Christmas. At first I thought it was stress related because I always get a knot in my shoulder blades when I get stressed out. It's been bothering me off and on. Since it started, I have had near pain free days. But then, I did a lot of things like hanging Christmas lights and cleaning out gutters. Early last week, I made a mistake and had Rachel stand on it and used this electric shiatsu massager too long which gave me a friction burn. I did a bunch of internet research and all signs point to bursitis. So I had bursitis, a bruise on top of that, and then a burn on top of the bruise. So Tiger Balm or Ben Gay were out. And I learned that my self treatment was a bad idea as all I did was aggravate my already inflamed bursae in my shoulder. Which is why I haven't blogged in a while. And my last post took me four days to do.

Anyway, Rachel has been bugging me to go to see a doctor. And I hate going to the doctor. Especially since we have a $2,400 annual deductible so it is out of pocket. It felt better late last week, and on Friday I promised that if it was still hurting on Monday, I would make an appointment and see a doctor. Well, it got worse. The burn and bruise are healed, but I woke up Sunday morning from the pain at 5:00 AM or so. Rachel says I cried, but I say I just cried out. And I woke up Monday morning at 2:00 AM.

I usually sleep on my stomach. I know it's bad for you, and I try to fall asleep on my side or my back like you are supposed to. But once I fall asleep, I always turn over. But now, I am only able to fall asleep unless I'm on my back. It hurst too much to lay on my stomach or either side. And I'm sure that once I fall asleep, I am turning over and it hurts.

Anyway, I made the appointment yesterday for today. I got there early to fill out paperwork since this was my first visit to a new facility. While I was filling out my paperwork at a desk near the reception area, about 10 people shuffled through the line. 2 out of the ten were there claiming they "lost" their pain medication. A 3rd said she just filled her prescriptions yesterday "and I got robbed last night and they took my valium and my vic..." The receptionist cut her off and said she would have to come back after 1:00 when her doctor was back from lunch. a 4th person didn't know what to put on the address line because he was homeless and living in one of two parks. He didn't have a dollar for his co-pay. I was reaching in to my pocket to get a dolalr for the guy and then thought, no, it would be better to give him a dollar ot two outside the clinic and maybe he could get a sandwich or something.

I am a pretty sensitive guy. I mean, I'm a big tough guy and all. But I am sensitive. And this just tore me up. I was in a lot of pain physically, and here are all of these other people WAY worse off than I am. At the same time, I felt like I was out of place. Like I must be at the wrong hospital or something. I didn't belong here with these drug addicts and homeless people. And I felt elitist and guilty about it.

The last time I went to a doctor, it was in San Ramon. And it was Doctor Lamb. And the parking lot was filled with way nicer cars than mine. And I didn't feel like I was going to catch something worse than I had in the waiting room. And she was kind and patient and explained everything to me.

Anyway, I waited. And I happened to draw the same doctor Rachel got for her back. Only she didn't make the connection with my last name. I didn't really expect her too as I'm sure she sees a lot of people every day and she only saw Rachel twice. But this is really weird and really disturbing. I told her my symptoms and she diagnosed me with arthritis. This struck me as odd because this is exactly what she diagnosed Rachel as having. And I never heard of anyone just waking up with arthritis. And she hadn't even looked at my shoulder, let alone felt around the tissue. I asked if she was sure and told her what I had done to myself with Rachel standing on my back and the HomeMedics Shiatsu machine. I then took off my shirt and she looked at my shoulder and said, "Wow that's quite a burn." And she touched my shoulder blade a little. And she stuck with arthritis. She prescribed the same pain meds (minus the valium) that she had prescribed Rachel. And she referred me to the same place for physical therapy. And asked me to get an X-ray.

I then asked her if she had gotten around to responding to our attorney about Rachel's accident. She was supposed to compare the X-rays from right after the accident to the X-rays from this Summer to determine if her "arthritis" was related to the accident. She said she couldn't recall off the top of her head, which is understandable, but said that Rachel should come get another X-ray. I was about to say, "But you have a second X-ray." But I didn't bother.

I left, a little stunned. Let's see, Rachel gets rear ended and this doctor's diagnosis is arhtritis and she recommends physical therapy. I wake up in agony one morning and her diagnosis (without even looking at it or feeling it) is arthritis and she recommends physical therapy. What is this? A new syndrome? Sudden Adult Onset Arthritis? I guess this can easily be confused with the similar ailment of "Adult Onset Some Old Guy Slammed Me From Behind At Forty Miles Per Hour Arthritis" that Rachel has. It takes a trained eye to tell the difference and prescribe valium in the latter diagnosis. Or maybe her arthritis is contagious and I caught it because I used her toothbrush in the shower.

I am freaked out that we have been following this doctor's advice. Not so much about me. The drugs for both bursitis and arthritis are about the same. Although it would have been nice to have some valium for when I get really stressed out. But what she prescribed is listed for both ailments on most of the websites I've looked at. So I'll take them. And hopefully I'll be able to get a good night's sleep. And I am definitely going for a second opinion. But poor Rachel. Her injury is way worse than mine. Life altering, in fact. And we have been following the advice of this doctor for seven months now.

We are both going to get second opinions. I guess since we can choose whatever doctor we want, I could probably go back to San Ramon and see Dr. Lamb again, if she'll take us.

Almost eveyone I know who has had some sort of medical condition in recent years has had some horror story. Everyone agrees our country's medical care is terrible. And since I never had any problems I just listen and nod. But man! It is bad!

I am definitely writing to my elected officials at the State and Federal level. And I will support any candidate with a reasonable national health care proposal in '08.

The really cool thing is that I was supposed to be working on an RFP and the deadline got pushed out so I now have until Thursday to get it done. And I think I can swing it. The customer suggested I look in to some dictation software. But this Baclofen and Diclofenac stuff is amazing. I am able to type and use my mouse without crying tonight. So I might not need it. It would be pretty cool, though. And being a speech rec geek, maybe I should give it a shot.

Crock Pizza Recipe

A few years ago, I started working with CDS on a project to speech enable their IVR system. They're the ones who sent me the key chain for Christmas. Anyway, at the project kick off meeting, they took us to an Itallian restaurant in Ames, Iowa called Lucullan's. I was about to order my usual favorite when someone else is buying- The Heart Attack Platter (that's filet mignon and fettucine al Fredo - not to be confused with fettucine al Frodo, which doesn't taste very good at all). But one item on the menu caught my eye - Crock Pizza. I asked our server what it was, and she said, "Oh, it's great!" Well, that was good enough for me, so I ordered it. A short while later, I was presented with a steaming hot metal bowl which the server slammed down on my plate. The novelty was great - sort of like getting the sizzling fajita platter, or gettnig the guacomole made at your table. Anyway - it was delicious.

I told Rachel about it when I got home and I vowed that I would make it for her. We went on a quest to find a suitable crock. We settled on French Onion soup bowls from Le Gourmet Chef at the outlet mall. Three for $5.00, so we got six. I would like to find suitable metal bowls some time as I think they will work better. But these are OK, and you can use the same. We also got some boxes of "gourmet" pizza crust.

Our first experiment was a giant disaster. The crust stuck to the bowl and I burned my fingers trying to pry it off. And the cheese was all stuck on the inside of the crock and the toppings just oozed out everywhere. It was a mess, but it tasted pretty good.

Which reminds me of a joke - Why is having sex,uh, I mean, making love like pizza?

Because when it's good, it's great! And when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

We had a little more success on our second attempt - this time, I sprayed Pam inside the bowl. The crust still stuck and had to be pried off, and the cheese stuck a little, and toppings came out okay - under the cheese. But it was more of a "Pizza Soup Bowl".

I called the restaurant and explained that I was trying to make it at home and the crust always stuck. They told me I had to liberally spray the crock, inside and out. Our next attempt was better still, and one of them actually came out perfect. I think it was Jake's. Great (now standard) is when the crust dislodges when slammed, the toppings plop in the middle, and the cheese flows down the sides of the toppings evenly. Perfect is when a little bit of sauce bursts through the very peak of Mozzarella Mountain like a little volcano. That only happens once or twice per session.

Over time, we've learned a lot of tricks. Rachel came up with shaping the cheese inside the bowl so that the whole inside is lined. This helps bind the cheese to the crust so it all comes out at once and also ensures all of the cheese gets melted. Three or Four tablespoons of sauce is is about right - and you should be able to make six with one 12 oz can of sauce. We bought a little rubber pot holder for the handles that makes things a lot easier. Also, it is better to put the crocks directly on an oven rack rather than on a cookie sheet. When we used an insulated cookie sheet, the crust got done well before the cheese melted.

IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP!!!

Be careful when serving! I used to serve them at the table. But last Summer, I was serving our neighbor's daughter (the cute little girl from the Gingerbread House post) and piping hot sauce spilled on her leg. It blistered. And was bandaged for about a week. And I felt terrible pangs of guilt. Fortunately, it has healed and there is no scar.

This is without question, my favorite thing to cook for others. It's great for a lot of reasons. First, it's a nice social meal - everyone makes their own, so everyone is around the kitchen. And there are a variety of toppings to choose from, so everyone gets what they want - vegetarians and carnivores alike. Oh, and English people can have tuna and corn for toppings without making anyone else suffer. It's also great to cook for little kids. Scott and Kimra's kids, Cory and Sam had a blast making theirs. They put on chef's hats and everything. I'm hoping to shoot a video some time with cute little kids and send it to Martha's show.

Are there any bad things about crock pizza? Well, prep time can be a little long. And I find that I buy the smallest packet of pepperoni and still have most of it left over. Same witht he smallest can of chopped olives. And I don't know anybody who eats that stuff straight, or even on a sandwich. Leftover salami is fine as I'll make a sandwich. Cleanup is a drag only if you don't clean as you go. It's even easier if you have a great twelve year old like we do who does dishes. And, of course, there's the initial investment in crocks. But over time, it's a lot cheaper than ordering pizza. I guess the return on investment is a little longer if you consider Domino's to be pizza (it's bad cheese and low quality toppings on cardboard in my opinion- tastes about the same whether you remove it from the box or not). That's about it.

On to the recipe...

Summary:

Crock Pizza is a unique and delicious pizza dish. It is baked inverted in a crock - cheese on the bottom, then sauce, then toppings, then crust. It is served by slamming the crock on to a plate so that the crust is on the bottom and the cheese is on top.

Ingredients:
Basic Pizza Dough for two pies
2 lbs shredded mozzarella
2-3 cups of pizza sauce
Pizza Toppings (anything you or your guests like on a pizza)

Toppings we've tried:

Ground beef (pre cooked)
Ground Suasage (pre cooked)
Canadian Bacon
Ham
Salami
Pepperoni
Pineapple Chunks
Sliced Mushrooms
Sliced or Chopped Olives
Fresh Garlic
Choopped Onions (white and green)
Artichoke Hearts
Sun Dried Tomatoes
Diced Roma Tomatoes

Directions (With Pictures)

First, make the dough. It needs to rise for an hour to an hour and a half and you can prep your toppings in that time. I always add something to the crust - usually a little more oil, some garlic, and some spices - typical Itallian Seasonings and such. Let the dough rise for 45 minutes to an hour, then poke it down and let it rise a second time for 15 minutes to half an hour.

Make sure you activate your yeast before adding it.

In our house, you need to pay attention to which olive oil bottle you use.

Rachel thinks, and I agree, that an olive oil bottle is more attractive in the kitchen than a plastic bottle of dish soap. So you have to be careful. You want the oil, not the soap. We now use blue dish soap. Why? You can write that story yourself.

Anyway - while the dough rises, prep your toppings of choice. Get some help if anyone offers.

Then just hang out with your family and guests until the dough is ready. You could even give your friend Ted his birthday present.

When the dough is ready, preheat your oven to 425 degrees. I wrote out degrees because I don't know how to get that little circle degrees sign in there. Maybe I could superscript an 'o' or something.

Spray each crock liberally on the inside and the top of the outside with cooking spray.


We did have one minor catastrophe this go round. I put the dough in the oven to rise, covered with plastic wrap. The first time, I turned the oven on for just a few seconds to make it warm. On the second rise, I did the same thing. But the second time, I forgot to turn the oven off after a few seconds. So it rose. and baked a little. And I am not sure what happened to the plastic wrap. I actually said,


"The dough! Doh!"


I consulted with Rachel, and she agreed that there was no plastic on the dough. We believe it expanded, popped, and adhered to the outside of the bowl. And nobody got sick. So I think we were right.

Anyway - line each crock with shredded mozzarella. I forgot to take a picture of this step. You should not see the inside of the crock, except the lip. Add more or less cheese depending on taste and Weight Watchers points available.

Spoon in pizza sauce. Again, more or less according to taste. Two to three tablespoons will do.

Then add the toppings.

But wait - how will you be able to tell which pizza is which? Well, here's the really fun part. Let each person prepare their own crock one at a time. Grab a wad of dough and toss that person's crust while they make their pizza.

Then let each person pick a "marker". This can be one of the toppings they used. Or you can make a little letter out of dough - little kids love that because of the nursery rhyme (roll it, pat it, mark it with a 'P'). Or whatever. Jake is in something of a minimalist phase right now, likes only cheese, and insists on marking his with nothing. Maybe it's a nihlist pahse.

Anyway - when they are all done, you will know which is whose. See, I made a little 'E' out of red peppers. Which reminds me - I left peppers off of the list of ingredients.

Pop them in the oven. 10-12 minutes will usually do it, but it depends on your oven and how often you open the oven to peek. The crust should be golden brown. And you might here a little bubbling sound.






The next step is pretty critical. You need to get the crock from the oven to the plate as quickly as possible. If you don't, the cheese will congeal and give you pizza soup bowls. I slam the crock right side up on a wooden board then upside down on to the plate. It took a little practice for me.






Repeat for the remaining crocks. Oh, and if you made a couple of extra, you'll want to get them out of the crock and wrap them in foil for reheating the next day. If you leave them in the crock and put them in the fridge over night, they are impossible to reheat properly.

Anyway - that's it. Time to enjoy and listen to people tell you how much they like it and what a great cook you are and all of that. That's usually the best part of cooking for me. But Crock Pizza is so good, praise is second to the eating for me.













Oh - one last thing - do the remaining dishes (you cleaned as you cooked, right?), or engage the services of your tweelve year old and his faithful assistant.

I almost forgot...

...Ted stayed at The Hotel Yorba earlier this week, we made Crock Pizza and we took a bunch of pictures. My New Year's resolution is to post the recipe and the pictures.

Rum is the new tequila...

You heard it here first. Rum will come on strong in '06.

Spent the better part of the day water proofing our home. We'll see how well I did when we get some more rain later today. Took a shower and agonized over my outfit for the evening. Settled on flannel jammies and a grey Henley, and chose glasses over contacts.

We had a nice, mellow evening at home. Made a cocktail for my wife - rum and cherry Coke. Did a few shots of 10 Cane rum - YUMMY! Goes down like Patron.




And made myself a Rum and Coke with Sailor Jerry's 92 proof spiced rum. Cheaper (and in my opinion tastier) than the Captain. And the bottle looks so pretty in the Tiki Lounge.

As I understand it, Bacardi has a strangle hold on the U.S. rum market - expect some premium rums from them that will be better marketed than a lot of really fine rums. Oh, and if Castro happens to die this year, watch what happens. Yo ho, yo ho, the pirate's life for me.

And since Jake was with us, we gave him his first drink from the Tiki Lounge - a Shirley Temple.

Jake and I played some pool - I squeaked out a 2-1 victory in the New Year's Eve eight ball challenge.

We watched New Year's Rockin' Eve - it was great to have Dick back. Missed him last year. And we didn't stick around to hear the #1 song, but Rachel assures me it was Gold Digger.

Jake went to bed at 1:00. Rachel at 1:18. And I am off to bed at the time stamp attached to this post.

If you are reading this, then you are undoubtedly a dear friend of mine. I wish you a prosperous New Year and ask you to wish our family the same.