I Knew I Could Do It...

Well, they say if you fall off a horse...


It was a nasty job, but I cleaned out the disgusting fryer and gave it another go tonight. And they came out looking good and tasted wonderful. I did one beef and one chicken. I preferred the chicken. This time, I made them a little smaller and lowered them even more slowly in to the hot oil. And I held those suckers down with a pair of tongs and wedged them in the corner so they wouldn't blow up again.

Lesson learned. And learned well.

20 Years Ago...

So I've got my 20 year high school reunion coming up. I always thought it was rough being tubby in high school. Well, it was worse in grammar school, and junior high, I guess. Partly because Iwas even tubbier then. I was actually fairly fit by the time I was a senior in high school. I weighed around 185 in wrestling season, and I benched 230 the following Summer.

I recently got back in touch with a friend from back then, Rob Brown. We e-mailed a few times and then had a phone call. He was a bean pole in school. About 6 feet tall and weighed probably less than I did, maybe 165 or so. I haven't seen him, but he says he's up around 260 or so. I can't picture it. That's him on the left in the picture below.

That picutre was taken almost 20 years ago. Rob says a friend of his says he now looks like the guy who ate Rob Brown. I still look about the same. Well, less hair. But today when I received the e-mail he sent with that picture attached I had to laugh. I realized that I am wearing the exact same style Adidas track suit today, only it's black and the one in the picture was blue.

I wonder what happened to that suit.

The little girl, Rebecca, in Mike's arms has graduated from Stanford. Emily there has a PhD in, I think, psychology. She worked for a while with the famous Dr. Drew and Love Lines. Mike is a successful MFCC living in Novato. Rob worked for a long time creating art for the Odd World video game series and now runs his own Art Studio. And then there's me. A few weeks ago, I was a successful small business owner. I guess I'm still a small business owner, it's just not very successful right now. I'm essentially unemployed, at least for a few days.

I'm not sure how I got off on that tangent, but I guess I still have some issues around the current state of things.

The point of this blog was supposed to be how looking back, I'm glad I was tubby in high school so when people see me at the reunion, nobody will say I really let myself go or anything. But I do look a lot thinner in that picture. I'm maybe an inch taller and about 40 pounds heavier.

I've got to get on that treadmill more often. The reunion is in September.

The Great Chimichanga Disaster...

So Ted had to visit a cabinet shop in Lakeport. Incidentally, Ted and I went on a long hiking/camping trip some 10 years or so ago. On that trip, I taught him a Beastie Boys rap (Finger Lickin') that goes like this...

Hear No Evil See No Evil Talking No Bullshit So Many Damn People Are So Damn Full Of It Keyboard Money Mark You Know He ain't Having It Just Give Him Some Wood And He'll Build You A Cabinet

Why is this information relevant? Well, only because of the cabinet reference. Oh, and I guess our dinner was finger lickin' good, just like the song says.

Anyway, since he was in Lakeport and is heading for the Bay Area, he dropped by for a visit and is spending the night. He's upstairs right now sleeping on the pull out bed in the library/Rachel's office/guest bedroom.





He wore my silly chef's hat and made the guacomole...










I made just about everything else. I decided to make it a Mexican feast. I made tortilla chips in the fryer - way tastier than store bought. And I planned on Tostadas, Burritos, and I decided I would try to make Chimichangas as well.

I folded that puppy up with cheese,onions, ground beef, and the shredded chicken I made all afternoon, put it in the basket, and then lowered it carefully into the fryer. I read that you need to let the tortilla seal by putting it in slowly. I'm not sure what I did wrong, because I did put it in slowly, and it all looked great for a few seconds but suddenly turned in to

THE GREAT CHIMICHANGA DISASTER!!!

It all happened so fast. First it floated up, then start filling up like a big flour tortilla baloon, then the wheels came off and the thing flowered open, essentially dumping the contents in to the hot oil. The cheese sort of liquified and then hardened with bits of meat stuck in it. The whole vat of oil is ruined. I guess it could have been worse, but I'm not sure how short of a fire.

And I was beating myself up about it for a while. I haven't had anything go so terribly wrong as that in a long long time. But the rest of the meal was good. Ted's guacamole was great. And we had good dinner table conversation. Ted asked if I'd given any thought to cooking healthier. I really hadn't, but now I have, and I will think about it more often.

Anybody want to buy a slightly used fryer?

Jake has an ear infection or something, but was able to join us for dinner. I guess I'll have to run him over the hill to the doctor's tomorrow. He did snap this picture for us...


After dinner, Jake went to bed and Rachel, Ted, and I went downstairs to hang out and talk.


I'm not sure what Ted did to make Cody spazz out like this...


...but I caught it with the camera. He's doing kind of a spastic 180 at full run from a dead standstill or something.

I got a nastygram from the ex-partner. I think he was trying to trick us in to saying we aren't going to pay him anything ever so he can sue us now instead of waiting until January 1, 2008. He gave us a deadline of this Friday or else. And I'm just about ready to tell him to talk to the hand, or our attorney. I so wish he would just go about his life and leave us alone. It's a bummer, but the company is in bad shape and probably won't recover and there's just nothing there for him. Or even for us for that matter. We still have the coporate taxes to pay and talk may be cheap - unless you are talking to an attorney. And we've had to talk to him a lot lately. By the way, his name is John Moore. I like him so far.

In other news, I've gotten one job offer and I'm expecting another tomorrow. The first one was too low, but I'm giving them a chance to counter. The second one will be about right and I think it's where I'd rather be anyway. And they are based out of Chicago, so I'll get to visit Travis when I have to go visit the office. That's a big plus for me. It will also give me the flexibility to keep CommTech on life support in the hopes that something can still be salvaged. Maybe Chris will be able to get someone placed at Virgin once he is a full time employee. Or not. I don't much care anymore, really.

Maybe that's the acceptance finally settling in.

It was Grace...

Grace was the name of Magnum's friend.

Goodnight Gracie.

Maybe it was just the Ides Of March...

Last weekend, I decided to take a trip out to the coast to relax and get my mind off of things (see previous posts for a brief list of these things). I went out to visit Ted in Cleone, just a bit North of Ft. Bragg. Ted is a great friend and an ideal human being for helping you sort things out and get down to what's important. And he's a lot of fun to be with. And, as most of you know, he performed the wedding ceremony for Rachel and I.

He's building a house on his property on the coast while living in a rental nearby. Here's what it looks like so far...



Here's the view from his place...



It doesn't suck.

Anyway - I was supposed to leave town on Friday around 10:00, but got hung up with a few things related to my job search. I finally got on the road around 12:30. It was all new ground for me as the trip took me on Highway 20 West through Willits. It was a really pretty drive. And aside from some rain and a wicked sinkhole that was keeping CalTrans busy in the rain, it was a fine drive. I listened to my audio CD of Matt Dillon reading Jack Kerouac's On The Road. I'm not kidding - Matt Dillon. I kept thinking, "Come on Dean, come on Karlo Marx..we'll do it for Johnny, man!" And I was tempted to pick up a hitchhiker or two, but didn't.

I got to Ted's rental around 3:30 where I met his nephew Steve (who is out from Wisconsin to help with construction and is planning to settle out here), and one of the contractors working on his place, Jason. Nice guys all. And since it must have been 5:00 somewhere, I broke out the Trav-L-Bar and we had cocktails. Sailor Jerry and Red Bull was new to me, but not bad. I switched to Ketel One and Red Bull, though.

Oh, here I need to digress a minute about the water at Ted's place. Steve went in the house to get cups and ice cubes. The ice was normal looking on the outside, but yellow in the middle. It was pretty gross looking, but tasted fine. Apparently, it's safe to drink, it just comes out yellow from the well. Later, in the bathroom, I accused Ted of not flushing - but that's just the way the water looks.

Anyway, we finished our drinks and then Steve went over to the house to put in a few hours of work before we went out in town. Ted and I unpacked the car and while Ted was checking his messages, his phone rang. It was Steve on the phone calling about a beligerent homeless person who had set up camp in Ted's new place and was refusing to leave. The message on his machine was his neighbor calling to tell him about a "loud vagabond shouting strange obscenities." I'm not kidding, he said, "vagabond." Who says "vagabond" anymore? Well, me from now on, I guess.

Here's Ted's first guest, the vagabond...



The next part of my story says a lot about my friend Ted. When we got that call and heard that message, I immediately got myself all worked up for a potential fight. No, I guess fisticuffs is a better word, what with the guy being a vagabond and all. But Ted casually entered the Sheriff's Department phone number in to his phone and then grabbed the crock pot to take the poor guy a meal and send him on his way. That's Ted, or at least some of the best part of him.

Well, we got there and fed the guy and he was nice enough, but turned a bit wacky when we assured him that we were serious about his leaving. He asked for money, and when we refused, he started ranting about God's house and that there is no personal proerty and then he reluctantly headed out for the Texas Gulf - heading North on the 1. I guess he'll get there via Alaska and Canada, and I guess maybe Greenland.

Here's me with Steve and Ted...



After dinner, I helped a bit with the work - not much because I am still a bit gimped with my shoulder. And we made plans to go out later that evening. I was bragging on my wing man skills, which were doubted by Steve. And to be fair to Steve, I don't look like much - but that's the secret to my success. I am not a head turner, but I am cuddly and funny, I project a sense of safety, and I am so very married that I am immediately sized up as "harmless" by women in bars.

We first went to a bar where my Spanish would have come in handy had we actually talked to anybody. It was all hispanic males playing pool. I went to the juke box and picked a few Spanish tunes then switched it to English with Santana's Oye Como Va as the transition song. We did bar sports. I won the pool, Ted won the shuffleboard, and Steve won the pinball (although he swears I did).

We then went to another bar. Sorry I can't remember the names of these places. I got pretty drunk. So did Ted. That's rare. Steve got drunk too, but he amazed both of us when he saw how drunk we were, cut himself off, and committed himself to driving us home safely.



At the second bar, we played darts. You had to leave a driver's license to get the darts from the bartender. I slipped her my Disneyland Autopia license and she thought that was pretty funny when she realized what it was halfway to the register.
















I asked Steve and Ted to pick out my challenge to claim the title of World's Best Wingman. Now, I don't like to brag, but I will if I'm really good at something and challenged about it. And they made it tough. They didn't just pick the most attractive women in the bar - that might be too easy. They picked an attractive tough looking gal and her even tougher looking friend. Don't let the pictures fool you - before I went to work they had a "don't fuck with us, we might be armed" look about them.

Here's my warm up exercise...



...The girl on the left ended up being contractor Jason's half sister.








Now here's the challenge...



That's Magnum on the left (No kidding - she showed me her driver's license) and (dammit) I can't remember the other gal's name.






And last, but certainly not least, here's me with the bartender behind the bar...



If you have ever tried to get that picture, then you know it ain't easy.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. We played some pool, but lost interest. We ended up shutting the place down and hung out outside briefly. While I was chatting with our bartender, I missed some excitement. Apparently some local cocksure jackoff was simultaneously being disrespectful to Magnum's friend and and trying to pick her up. He was the kind of pretty boy you just want to punch for breathing. When Ted stepped in, the guy first was ready to go, but backed down pretty quick when Ted didn't. Then the guy tried to kiss the girl, but before he could, Magnum grabbed her by the hair to drag her home. It was so Springer.

Steve got us home safely, and for that, I dubbed him master of cookie distribution. I promised I would make my triple chocolate disaster cookies on Saturday. Ted fell asleep (that's pronounced "passed out") on the fold out bed. I wasn't sure if I should wake him up or take his bed, so I sat down to read for a while. I woke up sore as hell and hung over in the chair.






But I did make the cookies.












And I didn't mind being sore and hung over because we had an afternoon spa treatment booked.

That's right, Ted and I had a Brokeback day. We went to the Bamboo Garden in Ft. Bragg.

It was awesome. An hour in a room with a whirlpool, sauna, and shower. What we didn't know is that we were to share the room and the tub. Let's just say the tub would have been perfect if I was with Rachel. But with Ted, well, not so much. And I quickly claimed "First tub! I promise I won't pee in it."















Ted took a sauna...


...Irv, if you're reading this, that's only the left half of that picture of Ted. Shoot me an e-mail and we can discuss a price for the right half. You'll see a side of Ted you've never seen before (as far as I know).







Anyway - it was great to get all relaxed before a massage. We each had a little dish of exfoliating face wash, tea, and some really great water. Oh, the best part was a small towel dipped in lavender ice water. It was great layihg out in the sauna with that cold wet towel draped over my face - just sweating out toxins and breathing in cool lavender scented air. Here's the two of us post sauna, pre-massage.



It might be hard to see in the picture, but there is no trace of the night before on us.

My massage therapist was awesome. I told her about my x-rays and the revesal of my cervical spine and the narrowing between C4 and C5 and how I got a lot better with physical therapy and rest but that I was a wreck again because of all the stress in my life. I told her like that, too - one long sentence. She listened and did an amazing job of finding and working out the knots in my neck and back. She started gently and worked deeper until it hurt and then maintained that level of intensity for the duration of the session. I felt awesome when it was over. Her name was Dawn, and I recommend her highly.

Ted opted for a hot stone massage and said it was good, but he was a little disappointed.

We sat around the spa for a while drinking tea and water.

Then we drove down to the ocean. Here's what you see as you head down the road to the beach. I love this picture. I wonder if the crew that erected this sign had any sense of irony while putting it up or if they just tossed their cigarette butts on the beach and moved along to their next job.



We parked and watched the sunset and talked about what's been going on in our lives lately. It was great communication and it helped me put some things in perspective and sort out what I want to do next.

I found this interesting - I had inadvertently packed my life in T-shirts...



That's a CommTech T-shirt in the middle flanked by an Adapt T-shirt on the left and an Interactive Intelligence Professional Services Group T-shirt on the right. That's about right where I am right ow - at CommTech torn between taking a job with Adapt or Interactive Intelligence. There's great reasons to work for both companies. I really like Brian at Adapt, we have a project scheduled together already, and they are a great company to work for. But I also really like a lot of people at Interactive Intelligence, it is a larger, publicly traded company, and I think I could do a lot for them and they might pay a little more.

Anyway, we sorted through these things and the stress in Ted's life. The house and location may be beautiful, and it will be a great place to live when it's finished, but it is really stressful for him right now. He is working really hard every day and he is constantly forced to make big decisions in a short amount of time. So I think it was really good for him to take a break this weekend, too.

I shot five minutes of video of the ocean for Rachel and then we went off to dinner at the Purple Rose. Good eats. I had the best chimichanga I've had in years and a good tostada. The guacamole was good too - very fresh.


We then went back to Ted's place and watched Good Night And Good Luck. He dozed a bit. And Steve got bored and went downstairs to bed. We watched Saturday Night Live for a while and then went to sleep.

On Sunday, we got up and went to the shore for a walk. There's a great paved trail across the street from Ted's property called Haul Road. That's right, H-A-U-L. You know, because they used to haul stuff on it. Mostly lumber. There are train tracks beneath it, I'm told.


Then we went back to Ted's rental. Ted ripped up some iceplant that I'm going to try to plant in my yard between the boulders and the fence to keep the weeds down and help with the erosion.


Then I hopped in the car for the drive home. It was clear on Sunday and the drive was much nicer. And I saw a lot of neat things to explore in the towns along the way. I look forward to going out there with Rachel some day.

In all, the weekend was just what I needed, and even more than I had hoped for. My head is clear, and I am pretty much worry free. And I feel good about it. Today, I got two calls about jobs. It's weird for me because I've always gone in to job interviews trying to convince the company to give me a chance and hire me. Now I am asking them to convince me to choose to work for them. And since I have a personal relationship with Brian at Adapt, it's a little awkward.

In a day or two, I'll have offers from both of them, and maybe from a third company, and I will have to put together a spreadsheet and come up with some criteria to help decide which offer to choose.

Tony came over today and took an online Hunter Saftey course and test while I worked on taxes and bookkeeping for CommTech. April 15th is coming up, but I am already almost done with both the business and my personal returns. And I haven't heard anything from Jeremy, which makes me think his lawyers are telling him the same thing ours did - there's nothing there for him and even if there was, he couldn't do anything until January of 2008. And I will have to deal with it in the future some time. And I still have to take some steps to shut down CommTech officially. And I'm trying to come up with some sort of plans for a funeral. Maybe a wake/party or something.

But for now, it's really nice to not have anything to worry about. I'm going to try to make the most of it for a couple of days.

Any more West amd I'd be wet...

Brief greetings from Ted's rental on the coast - just around the way from the beautiful house he's building. I've taken a lot of pictures, and I'll blog about the trip when I get back home tomorrow. Oh, and I shot five minutes of video to bring the beach home to Rachel.

Are elections that soon?

Saw my first re-elect the Governator commercial tonight. Interesting summary of his accomplishments. Somehow they managed to leave out the motorcycle accident, not having a license, etc. And there was no mention at all of his costly special election disaster. Or the $9 Billion he failed to try to recover from the energy companies that scammed all of us here in California.

Maybe Gary Coleman and the stripper have a shot this time. Or Galagher even.

Quick Update...

I went and saw my doctor again today. My shoulder is jacked again - not as bad, and I don't have the tingling and numbness like I had in my arm. But I feel it in the same old places at a pain level of 6 or 7 as oppsed to the 9 or occasional 10 it was when it got really bad. And it spread a bit to my other shoulder and down the front of my right shoulder. And when I move my arms it goes pop pop pop like little knuckles cracking. And I also have the little butterfly flutter muscle spasms going on. Two nights ago I got a few reall sharp twinges so I made an appointment to try to nip it in the bud.

She said it is probably stress related. And she hadn't found out yet (after a month plus) whether my insurance will authorize an MRI. She said she'd call me when she found out. Which is what she said last time. But I can't complain right now. Why not? Because she refilled my Vicodin and Baclofen scrips. And I feel a little floaty. Anyway - yeah, it's stress related -Duh! She suggested I take a trip down to behavioral health. Wonder if my insurance covers that.

I've been really good about my posture, mostly because it hurts when I sit wrong. And I've been exercising and losing some weight. But lately I've had to type more because I'm doing accounting and taxes that don't work very well with the dictation software. So that probably doesn't help.

Some good news, though - my neighbor is giving us a hot tub that someone gave him. It runs on 110 and he wants one that runs on 220. I'm a little concerned about the PG&E bill, which is why he wants a 220. But doing the math on what it will cost in electricity, it will be a few years at least before the difference in power consumption exceeds the value of a free hot tub. So I think that will help me and Rachel's back as well. My neighbor rocks. If he ever pulls you over, please be nice to him.

On the business front, well, not too much to report. Chris got his formal offer letter. I am still holding out a little bit of hope that I can find some way of keeping it alive. It would probably take some negotiating with Jeremy, who has not been very open to it. But I've talked to a lawyer, and I think once he talks to one as well, he might be more willing to work out something reasonable. We have a formal meeting with our lawyer on Thursday and I'll find out more. But so far, I think we are safe personally because of the protection afforded us by the LLC laws. And the business was clearly losing money. Plus, the company has until December of 2007 to pay out. No word yet on possible full time positions. Which is fine by me. One less thing to think about right now. I've got all of the accounting done and I'm almost finished with the taxes.

That's it for now.

Oh, except for this - Glenn, stop reading and go draw something!!!

Sunday Yummy Sundae...

Here's the dessert that we had today instead of on Saturday night...


That's a fresh waffle under a hot fudge sundae with nuts. It felt like Disneyland, but didn't cost $14 each.

Which leads me to this picture...



That's the view from the treadmill. I'm going to have to enjoy that view an awful lot to make up for how much I enjoyed that sundae.

Hey Glenn and Laurie...

What do you do with this?


http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/5484

It's the page from the Yankees roster on Yahoo with a picture of Johnny D, Unfrozen Caveman Centerfielder, in a Boston hat.

Who should be more sick, you or me?

And do they make you Yankee fans take back all of the nasty things you ever said about him?

The Weekend...

So we had guests at the Hotel Yorba. Lauren and Paul stayed with us for the weekend. It was a rough start tot the trip. Highway 29 was closed due to a mudslide. But they persevered and took an alternate route. And they missed a turn and drove an hour and a half out of their way around Lake Berryessa and right back to where they started. But they made it.

So Friday night was pretty mellow. A little conversation and then bed.

On Saturday, the girls went for a manicure. Paul and I sat around discussing this and that. And then the boys (Paul, Jake, and I) fell in to playing poker. Texas Hold 'Em, to be precise. Paul and I agreed that we would have a ten dollar buy in and that Jake would put in his own money, but we would refund it if he lost. My hope was to teach him a valuable lesson about gambling. Instead, I learned a valuable lesson about my son.

When the girls got back from their manicures, they wanted to play too. In all, we must have spent 8 hours together around my grandfather's poker table.


My step-grandfather's, actually. My Nana's second husband was, for a time, the head of the Army Corps of Civil Engineers. He was responsible for most of the dams and water control projects of the Sacramento Delta, and I guess California. I'm told that he had a weekly game, and so a lot of generals have played poker at this very table. When I found it in his house, it was in great disrepair, with faded old felt and cigarette burns. My father-in-law re-finished it with the extra felt from our pool table so it matches. Amalio Gomez was probably the smartest man I've ever known. And he's a big part of why I bothered to learn Spanish. Thank you, sir, for the table, and for the lessons you taught me. I hope you are resting in peace.

Anyway - I intended to teach Jake a lesson about gambling. Even when we told him about our agreement, and gave him back his hard earned allowance, he was still bummed. He just hates losing, period. Oh, and he loves playing - he almost never folds.

And I think I've got his tell figured out, but I'm not going to tell you about it. Brad might come play some day. And he's ruthless.

I like these pictures...




Rachel holds her own and then some.







And the dinner was good on Saturday. I used less garlic on the sauce this time, but it still tasted really spicy. Maybe it was the dill? Anyway - here's what the grill looks like when I cook for Vegetarians and the rest of us at the same time.



Notice that the tofu is on top so no meat juice drips on it. Oh, and I tried one kabob of lamb. I didn't like that at all. It smells and feels funny. And it is an expensive meat. I got a coupe of shoulder cuts and it was no fun at all trying to get decent size pieces off of the bone. And there was a lot of fat and yuck tissue. And the whole tike I was prepping I had this whole "lamb of God" thing running through my head. So I'll stick with chiken from now on, thank you very much.

We were so full from dinner that I didn't serve desert. We saved that for Sunday (and my next post).

I watched "A History of Violence" in bed while Rachel slept. Good movie and well done. But it didn't teach me anythig I didn't know already. If you start fro the premise that violence is wrong, everything else that matters follows. And if you stay up watching a movie after everyone else goes to sleep, you miss out on a lot of fun in the morning. Like this morning - Jake and Paul watched soccer, or football, depending on whether you are Jake or Paul. Liverpool won.

Throughout the weekend, Lauren did laundry. It was quite a pile - rivalling some of Rachel's and mine.

Notice the pile on the air hockey table behind Lauren.




And there was more in the front.

Anyway - they took off late this afternoon, and Rachel and I watched "Good Night and Good Luck." We dug it and will probably watch it again some time this week. There's a lot of parallels between then and now. Only there was no Fox News back then. And now that I think about it, there was no Fox News during the Vietnam War, either. Perhaps that's why we have Fox News today. Maybe some day they will figure out that half or more of Bill O'Reilly's audience is comprised of people like me who are trying to know the enemy.

I'm for bed now. Oh, after one more quick post.

The Five Stages of What?

Well, I'm now 99% sure CommTech is folding. The only thing that could save it is if the phone rings next week and it's a REALLY big project starting immediately. But it's more likely to be attorneys for our old partner. Or perhaps a job offer.

That's right, a job offer. I really want to continue doing what I do as an independent contractor, or perhaps starting another company. But I'm also exploring full time jobs, and there are actually a few companies out there that I would like to work for that have expressed interest in having me work for them. And I've sent my resume and let a few people know I'm looking. And Rachel and I did a spreadsheet with expenses and income and figured out what I need to make. If someone comes in with an offer in the neighborhood, I will probably take it.

I've got to give some thanks to my little sister giving her big brother some advice in a long conversation we had last week. Thanks, sis. I wouldn't be open to the idea of working for someone else if we hadn't had that talk.

Anyway - this is one of the biggest bummers I've had to deal with in a long time. And I think I've been going through those five stages of grief. I've read that originally, it was not the "five stages of grief," but rather, the "five stages of receiving catastrophic news."

I'm calling it the "five stages of realizing that it is better to dissolve the business you have spent almost five years building and start over than to try to keep it afloat."

1.) Denial - I think part of me still thinks something will happen to save it. Note I said 99% sure. So I've got some of that.

2.) Anger - I am really angry at our old partner for taking far more out than he put in to our company, for turning down work, and for working on enriching himself through other business ventures while Chris and I were full time and more trying to build CommTech. And he doesn't care a lick about keeping the business going, he just wants money that isn't there. And I have some anger for resellers who used us to help them win business and then didn't honor their committment to us to staff the projects we helped them win. And I even had some anger with Chris for taking a full time job rather than finding another contract. I had job offers back in November that I turned down to stay with CommTech thinking that in the long run it would be better for everyone. But I understand that he is making the best decision for him.

3.) Bargaining - well we tried bargaining with our old partner, but he wouldn't listen. And I keep thinking, maybe if I do X, Y, and Z, it will give us six months. Maybe I can close CommTech Professionals, LLC and start CommTech Professionals, Inc. Maybe I could find new partners. And so on. But the reality is that at this point, my X, Y, and Z should be things done to find work and income for me and not for CommTech.

4.) Depression - I've definitely had this one. I know I'm a wreck emotionally. I'm not sleeping well. I have frequent periods of overwhelming feelings of doom and dread. My shoulder is acting up, my neck hurts, and I've got new pain in my other shoulder. And I've been losing weight faster than what I can attribute to exercise alone.

5.) Acceptance - I'll let you know when I get there. I mean, I go through periods of acceptance, but I quickly slip back to step one and repeat the cycle.

That's it for now on this topic. More news next week, I'm sure.

Thanks for the Support

Thanks to my friends and family who
have called or written me offering
support and guidance. It's been a great
help to me. My company has been
through some lean times in the past
and pulled through. And I feel like thingIs
could turn around in a couple of months.
But without Chris' contract, I don't think
we can afford to wait. And our old
partner hounding us for money that
just isn't there isn't helping any.

I keep hoping the phone is going to ring
with a new project to kick off. And I also
printed the forms that are required to
shut down an LLC. That felt like loading
a gun to put the family dog down.

Last night I made the mistake of
checking e-mail before going to sleep.
I'm not making that mistake again
tonight. I really need some good
sleep.

And we'll see what tomorrow brings.

A little stressed out...

So I haven't really written about this, but maybe just getting it out will help.

Things are pretty tense right now work wise. CommTech is at something of a crossroads. One of our partners bailed out back in October. And the company is supposed to be buying out his shares over the next two years. But things haven't been going so well. There's no money in the business to pay out. I got hurt and haven't been as effective as I usually am. A couple of deals fell through. One customer shorted us $15K. And now Chris is being forced to take a full time gig where he is currently contracting. He can either take it or try to find a new contract somewhere. And they made him a really good offer. And I think he is going to take it. So now I have to figure out what to do. And I'm in knots and now my other shoulder is hurting.

Maybe I'll open a Falafel cart in Clearlake.

Good thoughts and prayers from friends and family are definitely appreciated right now.

How do you spell Shawarma?

Anyone? Sara?

Is it Shwarma? Shawarma? Chawarma? However you spell it, it is delicious. Tonight's dinner was definitely top ten. That face Jake is making is an "MMMMmmmmmmMMmmmmm" face. It tasted pretty authentic to me. Although I think the sauce should have been at room temperature rather than straight from the fridge.



I marinated the chicken (and tofu for Rachel) overnight. It's basically a yogurt marinade with cucumber, garlic, onions, caradmon, garam masalla, parsley, and dill. Fresh parsley and dill. It was grubbin'. And I made falafel in the fryer. Yes, I used a mix for that. And I was lazy and bought the hummus. And I bought the pitas, too. But I made the Tzatziki sauce from scratch and it was great. And I did the rice with Saffron and dill.

The wine was 2003 St. Supery Sauvignon Blanc. It went really nicely - it gave me a little mouth orgasm.

Here's the sauce:

Tzatziki Sauce

Ingredients:

• 2 cups plain yogurt
• 4 cloves pureed garlic
• Juice of 1/2 lemon
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 cucumbers, peeled, seeded, grated ( use large holes on grater)
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 teaspoons olive oil
• 1/2 cup of onions
• 3-4 Tbsp cup fresh parsley
• 3-4 Tbsp fresh dill
• Additional spices to taste: cardamon, garam masalla, cinnamon, coriander
  

I put it all in a blender. Then I diced some more cucumber and mixed it in. Seeding the cucumber is pretty easy - Peel it, slice it in half lengthwise, and then use a spoon to scrape out the seeds (like you would for a melon). It makes a great dipping sauce for pita chips or vegetables. And I like a pita chip with hummus and the sauce drizzled on top.

The chicken marinade had all the same stuff, but also 1/2 cup of vinegar. The recipe I read called for malt vinegar, but I used champagne pear. Tonight was the trial run as we are planning to make this for Lauren and Paul when they visit next weekend. Everything came out great, except I over cooked the pita chips by 5 or 6 minutes. Hope it comes out OK next wekend.

Will Jack get out alive?

Did you watch 24 tonight? Yeah, so all of CTU is trapped in sealed rooms and may die from Centox gas. Yeah, and at 9:30, Fox showed scenes from next week's episode. It kind of ruined the suspense. I mean, you just know Jack is going to live. Sure. But it still ruined it for me. Stupid. They should get an earful from fans more dedicated than me.

Tony Soprano...Gutshot!!!

Apologies to anyone who Tivoed The Sopranos and saw it here first.

I remember when Chris and Ajit and I were sharing a hotel suite outside of Dallas on a long project for Verizon and we were complete Sopranos junkies. Well, Sopranos and Heroes III. We even watched old Sopranos episodes on Pay Per View.

A month or so ago I got this idea for an Onion type article. The headline would be something like "Sixth Season of Sopranos Starts and Ends - Nobody Notices."

I had almost forgotten that it was supposed to be back in March. And then March came roaring in so fast. But we saw some ad for a cell phone that mentioned links to Sopranos previews and that the show started on the 12th.

And today is the 12th.

And we sat and watched it. We were shooting to catch it at 6:00 on HBO East, but couldn't swing it.

Well, like an old friend, we picked up right where we left off. We were sucked right in. And just when we got to thinking it was a little boring, that guy hung himself. OK, so yeah, that was pretty graphic. I've never seen someone hang him or herself, but from what I've read, that was pretty accurate.

And then Tony got gut shot. Did anyone else have a little premonition about Uncle June doing something like that? Like I wasn't shocked when it happened, you know?

I'm realizing that for people that don't really like TV, we have a whole bunch of shows we watch regularly now. My Name Is Earl, CSI (only Vegas will do), Law and Order: Criminal Intent, 24, Scrubs, and now The Sopranos.

No wonder I'm not getting any better at guitar.

Why I started a blog...

So lots of people have really great reasons for starting a blog. For some, it's a way to keep family members informed about their lives. For others, it's an attempt to make the world a better place by writing about social injustice or politics. And for some, it's about recipes. I blog for all of those reasons, and more. And I enjoy it quite a bit.

But I have to give some thanks to Sara Record Frings - wife of The Big Cheese, Gary Frings, and the only person among my circle of friends I fear sitting across from me at Scrabble.

Last year we were sitting around their place in the Oakland Hills, and in the course of conversation, I went on a few of my little rants. Maybe about Starbucks or how much I hate Walmart. She kept saying, "You have to start a blog." That was the refrain for the evening. It got to be a running gag that evening.

And that running gag is what finally motivated me to get one going. I sent the link to Gary way back when I first started, and he still hasn't sent it to her.

So I am posting this entry for Sara and will e-mail her an invatation.

Thanks Sara.

--Whoops - did I mention that Sara is a spelling champion? And she was kind enough to not point out that I spelled invitation wrong. I mean incorrectly.

Snow Blog Day 3...

What a gyp. I think that's how you spell gyp.

Once again, no snow. Snow is once again a no show. I'm sure there's plenty up where Rachel works, but none here to play with.

It's plenty cold, though. And the forecast calls for rain the rest of the week. Blah.

Oh, now I remember...I hate soldering...

Today I remembered how much I hate soldering.

It's kind of like U-Haul. Everytime I have used U-haul, it's been a giant pain in the ass and a really bad experience overall. Examples? Well, how about things like:

--Sorry, your truck won't be back until 12:30 (when I have friends and family lined up for 10:00).

--Sorry, we don't have the one-way 14 footer you reserved three weeks ago, but we'll give you this 26 foot behemoth and you have to have it back here by 4:30. (That was a lot of gas money and everything slid around the truck. Yeah, I know, learn to tie a knot.)

--Did you reserve the truck on line? We don't have any record of it.

But by the time it comes time to move again, I always forget how awful it was the last time.

But last time, I remembered. So last time, we went with a local moving company. It was no better. Quite a bit worse, actually. On our second trip, the thing started smoking very badly and broke down. And there was no cell service. And I had to walk about a half mile to get one bar. And nobody answered at the rental place. And I called the service number in the truck and it turns out that service number was for Ryder, the company this company bought the truck from. And they wouldn't help. And I called AAA, normally a fountain of assistance in bad situations like this, and they wouldn't tow it because I'm n ot the owner of the truck.

So half of our wordly posessions and all of our plants spent the night at the intersection of Calistoga Road and Petrified Forst Road with a mere padlock to secure them. Fortunately everything was there.

The company sent out another truck on Monday. And my parents and Mike and Angela came to the rescue and helped us shlep everything from one truck to the other.

Fortunately, we don't intend to move any time soon, if ever.

Oh, sorry, I digressed.

Soldering.


I hate soldering. And I always forget how much I hate it. And then something comes along that needs soldering and I think, "Oh, I'll just solder that real quick and it'll be good as new."

"Soderstrom" is NOT Swedish for "master solderer."

I've learned that you need three hands to solder. Four would be ideal. And I'm not going to ask Rachel or Jake to help for fear of burning them. And try as I might, my fingers are not nimble enough to thread multiple wires through tiny little holes, hold them steady, apply heat and solder and keep it all together pretty. It looks so easy when geeks are doing it on TV shows. And then there's the smell. I try really hard not to breathe the stuff. And then my hands start shaking. And I turn my head to breathe and invariably smell the stuff and then I look back and find the wire has fused to the wrong part of whatever it is I am soldering.

It just sucks. But I think I've done a good enough job. I am getting music through one speaker. And I am confident that I will get music through the other once I conenct the wire. And everything will be groovy and we will once again have music in the living room.

And six months from now, something else will need soldering and I will forget how much I hate it. Maybe I will even forget that I blogged about this and blog about it again.

Wait, did I already do a post on soldering?

Snow Blog Day 2...

No snow. Snow is a no show.

Rachel says, "Did you look out there recently? Did you look out there?"

So maybe it's just late.

But I'm not holding my breath. And besides, it will be dark soon.

Once it gets dark, I'm rooting for lightning.

Snow Blog Day 1...

So it was a hoot. Rachel got home from work safely. And then it started dumping again. So we went out and played in it. It was a blast. Throwing snowballs, well, it probably wasn't the best thing for me as my shoulder is throbbing a bit. But what was I suppsed to do. You can't not throw a snowball when it's the first time you've had really good snow at your house and you've been waiting for it for almost two years.

Especially when you wife looks like a cute little kid with her giganto snow ball...



And your cute little kid looks like, well, a cute little kid...



Here 's a good picture of the Hotel Yorba...



And here's a picture Rachel took of snow on our palm tree. Isn't that just SO VERY California! Our old landlords, Dee and Robin, gave us that palm tree as a wedding present. Travis and Julie gave us a bamboo tree. So maybe there's something magical about living things given as wedding presents because they are the only plants we seem to be able to keep alive.



And finally, here's a good picture of me. It's not often that I say that. Perhaps I have some lingering self esteem problems. But the light was right - the sun was going down, there was snow on the ground, and Rachel snapped a good one. I think anyway.



The weird thing right now is that there is snow on the ground and it is freezing cold but you can look up and see tons of stars as if it were a Summer night. It is so beautiful and still out. And quiet. If we had a hot tub, I would be in it. Maybe business will pick up and we'll get one next year. But for now, I'm going to go bundle up and go out on the balcony and look at the stars. Then I'm going to crawl in to bed and let my heater wife warm me up again. She makes the cutest little whine when I come to bed freezing.

I'm not sure what to expect but the forecast says more snow is on the way tomorrow and Sunday. I hope it comes during the day time. It was so much fun.

The Kings were under the weather, so no Snugglers today. But there's always tomorrow.

We had crock pizza for dinner and I made oatmeal triple chocolate disaster cookies and we watched Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire. I have to watch it again as I feel like I didn't quite get it. Or maybe it just wasn't as good as the previous movies. A little rushed, maybe. Trying to cram it in before the kids grow up maybe? And I didn't really like the new Dumbledoor. A little too spry. And I thought it was supposed to be played by Gandalf and it wasn't. Whatever. I think we're going to watch Walk The Line tomorrow night.

Peace and Snow to you.

As I was posting that...

It got dark. And Jake came in and said, "Hey, look outside."

It is DUMPING and blowing snow -blizzard like and coming down fast. Now I just want Rachel to get home safely with the camera before dark so I can get some pictures to post.

The forecast calls for...

...S.........N.........O.......W.......!.......!


------------------*


I need to go look up some cold weather cocktails. I think I remember how to make a Snuggler. And I think I even have some peppermint Schnapps. I think the Kings have those snow disk things, so I predict some high speed runs down Coyle Springs.

Tonight's Leftovers...

...looked like this last night...


Shepherd's Pie and Herb Loaf. Really yummy stuff. It looked prettier last night but tasted better tonight. Nothing like sitting in the fridge overnight to bring out the flavors in dishes like this.

Here's the guidelines:

SHEPHERD'S PIE

1 lb beef / lamb / veal and pork (mixed) 5 oz chopped onion 3 tablespoons butter or oil 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 1/4 cup stock / gravy / meat jelly 1 teaspoon flour or cornstarch tomato paste 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce, or 1 1/2 teaspoons wine vinegar thyme, salt, pepper, cayenne 2 lb potatoes 1 cup milk (about) 3 oz butter 1 tablespoon grated dry cheddar 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan Chop, process or mince the meat. Cook onion in the fat until soft. Add the meat and garlic, stirring well; then raise the heat so that the meat browns. Turn it over in large sections with a spatula, so that it browns all over. Pour off any surplus fat. Add some of the liquid and bubble gently for 5 minutes. Sprinkle on flour or cornstarch, stir again and add the remaining liquid. Let it bubble to a rich sauce, adding the various flavorings to taste. Meanwhile scrub, boil and peel the potatoes. Set aside a couple and slice them thinly. Mash the rest with the milk and butter, seasoning to taste. Put the meat into a shallow dish. Spread the mashed potato on top and, with the slices, make a ring around the edge. Scatter the cheese over, and brown under the broiler at a moderate heat, or at the top of a hot oven.

Garden Herb Loaf

---

This is undeniably one of the most beautiful loaves of bread to look
at or taste (that I have made, anyway). Because it is a braided loaf
it also requires no slicing. Just sit it on the table and watch them
tear it apart. I normally bake it on airbake cookie sheets to keep
the bottom from over browning.

Ingredients: 
      4 to 4 1/2 cups all purpose flour
             2 packages of yeast
           3/4 teaspoon marjoram leaves
           3/4 teaspoon dried rosemary leaves
           3/4 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
           1/2 cup water
             1 egg
             3 tablespoons sugar
         1 1/2 teaspoons salt
           3/4 cup milk
           1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon butter
               additional spices to taste


In a large bowl combine 1-1/2 cups flour, sugar, undisolved yeast,
salt, marjoram, thyme and rosemary. Heat the milk, water and 1/4
cup butter together until very warm (120 to 130 degrees); then
stir into the dry ingredients. Stir in egg and enough remaining
flour to make soft dough. Knead on lightly floured surface until
smooth and elastic, about 4 to 6 minutes. Cover and let rest on
a floured surface for 10 minutes.

Divide the dough into 3 equal peices. Roll each piece into a 30
inch rope. Braid the ropes together and pinch the ends to seal.
Tie a knot in the center of the braid, and wrap the ends around
the knot in opposite directions and tuck under to make a round
loaf. Place on a greased cookie sheet. Cover; let rise in a
warm, draft free place until doubled in size, about 20 to 40
minutes.

Bake at 375 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes, or until done,
covering the loaf with foil the last 10 minutes to prevent
over browning. Melt the remaining butter and brush it over
the loaf. If desired, sprinkle with assitional spices. Remove
from cookie sheet and let cool on a wire rack.


Of course I embellished a lot.  I used ground beef, turkey, and pork for the pie and added garlic to the bread.

Now I need to go talk Rachel in to staying up a little later than usual to watch Hotel Rwanda.

My New Favorite Thing...

Video Conferencing with Scott. It's buggy, but it's pretty cool when it works. Tonight we had cocktails together and did Cheers! and clinked glasses against the camera. Pretty cool.

What would Jack Bauer do?

So Rachel and I just spent two hours together watching 24 (instead of CSI or Law and Order: Criminal Intent). And she's gone to bed.

And I said, "I'll be there in a few."

And she said, "I've heard that before."

We have this same conversation 2 or 3 times a week.

Anyway...

I got to thinking about terrorism and whatnot.

You know how a while back the N.Y. Times broke the story (that they sat on for a year or so) about the Bush Administration using illegal warrantless wiretaps for surveillance of U.S. citezizens? And when the story broke, the administration vowed to find the source of the leak? You know, because the information gives the enemy our playbook. Or at least a few pages from our playbook. No concern about the illegal acts, let's attack the person or persons who exposed the crime rather than punish the criminals themselves.

Anyway - it occured to me that a terrorist could learn more about our playbook from watching twenty minutes of one episode of 24 than they could from the combined reporting of the entire mainstream media for the last 20 years.

Let's just hope they never rent 1998's "Enemy Of The State."

That's all I'm saying.

Saving Our Democracy

This is rather long, but it is worth reading. It is a very thorough exploration of the Abramoff/DeLay scandal and the implications for the future of our Deomcracy (with a capital 'D').

Saving Our Democracy
by Bill Moyers

Work for 100% public campaign financing.

Finally!!!

It's Snowing!!! Snowing, I tell you!!! CalTrans is plowing 29.

There is snow on Hotel Yorba!!!!




I'll try to remember this when it's a hundred and sixty next July.

Flu Blog Day 3...

So I'm getting over it. No fever today. And no chills - except the normal ones that come with how cold it is outside. It snowed at Rachel's work up on Cobb today. It's supposed to snow again tomorrow, so she may have to stay home from work. That would be awesome - we could curl up in blankets by the fire while I finish getting over this bug.

I really want it to snow here, too. I want to take pictures and send them to my friends in Boone, Iowa. I think they have the worst weather of any place in the Mid-West. Everyone says Chicago with the Lake effect snow and wind, but watch Boone. They are consistently colder and get hit with wicked ice storms.

Anyway - Ted added a comment to Flu Blog Day 2 with some colorful euphemisms for throwing up. Fortunately, I'm not doing that anymore. But things are not so pretty on the other end. I've heard "the Hershey Squirts" and the "green apple splatters." Any new ones?

I've had a little idle time on my hands, nothing to do but sit and think, really, and I have come up with three so far:

1.) Tractor pulls in the bog.

2.) Fifty yard mud dash.

3.) (My favorite) Venti Caramel Macchiato coming right up.

What have you got? Come on, put on your thinking caps. No regurgitation. Let your creative juices flow.

Flu Blog Day 2...

A bit better today. So far, no vomiting. The other end isn't very pretty. And I had a temp of 100.3. I missed the Price Is Right again. I slept a lot. I ate 1/3 of a Power Bar around lunch time. I just had dinner - a small bowl of chicken and rice soup and another strawberry shake. My belly is making really loud angry noises. It's so loud, Cody looked at me and cocked his head like the RCA dog. And I've got the flu aches and chills. Oh, and of course, there's the sore muscles from throwing up. Still, it's better than yesterday.

I think we've traced it back to Ana at Bum Bum's wake on Sunday. She was sick the night before. She and Lincoln thought it was bad bread. But Paul was there, and Paul's got it too. And he is suffering from a hernia as well. I thought I had it bad, but he must be in agony. Rachel's Mom is sick now too. Only she isn't throwing up, at least not yet.

More tomorrow - unless something comes up between now and then. (Get it? Comes up? Anyone?)